Opposite Action in DBT is an emotion regulation skill that helps teens notice emotional urges and decide if following the urge will actually help. When an emotion does not fit the facts of the situation, or acting on the emotion would make things worse, teens can practice a different response through Opposite Action. This skill can help teens build more choice when experiencing an emotion instead of automatically acting on it.
To help you better understand Opposite Action in DBT and whether it could be a useful skill for your teen to develop, this page explores:
Opposite Action is a skill taught within the emotion regulation framework of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). Emotions create urges, and sometimes those urges do not fit the situation, or acting on the urge would make things worse.
This is where Opposite Action becomes helpful. Behavioral Tech, an organization founded by DBT developer Marsha Linehan, describes Opposite Action as a way to change unwanted emotional responses by behaving in the opposite way to what an emotion’s action urge is telling us to do.[1]
However, it’s important to know that Opposite Action can be misunderstood in ways that can make it unhelpful or even unsafe. Therefore, it’s important to understand what Opposite Action does not mean.
Opposite Action does not mean:
Emotions are valuable. They help us learn and keep us safe. Therefore, Opposite Action does not involve ignoring every emotion or instinct. Instead, it is most helpful when following a particular emotional urge would be ineffective or when the emotion does not fit the facts. In fact, sometimes the most effective action is completely consistent with the emotion.
DBT is not aimed at removing any signals from emotions. Instead, it is focused on helping teens respond more intentionally.
Mindfulness is a valuable DBT skill that is an important part of Opposite Action. Before changing a behavior, a teen needs enough self-awareness to recognize:
For instance, Opposite Action is best used after determining whether the emotion fits the facts. So, in order to do this, a teen might use mindfulness to ask themselves:
Making the distinction about whether an emotion fits the facts is important. For example, if a teen feels afraid while walking home alone, Opposite Action would not mean ignoring this fear. In this situation, the fear fits the facts and provides important safety information.
However, a teen might feel the same intense fear before giving a class presentation, even though they are prepared for it and there is no meaningful danger. In this case, the fear doesn’t fit the facts. Opposite Action could help in this scenario by encouraging the teen to give the presentation even though they are scared and likely do not want to.
While Opposite Action is often a useful skill for teens to develop in general, it’s also highly effective in the treatment of certain mental health conditions. In fact, research on DBT has shown that its skills are central to the treatment of a variety of mental health conditions and symptoms.[2]
Below, we take a look at how it can help in the treatment of anxiety, depression, anger, and shame.
Anxiety typically creates an urge to avoid. This could look like:
Avoidance usually feels very effective because anxiety often decreases immediately. However, this relief can teach the brain that avoidance keeps a teen safe. And the next time a similar situation appears, the anxiety may become even stronger.
When anxiety does not reflect genuine danger, Opposite Action in DBT might include slowly approaching what the teen wants to avoid. This could look like working up to independently making a phone call or building support plans to improve school attendance.
This is very similar to techniques used in exposure-based treatments, where slowly approaching a feared situation can weaken the connection between anxiety and avoidance.[1]
Sometimes rest is exactly what someone needs. But depression or intense sadness can create an urge to withdraw or stop doing things that usually provide connection or meaning.
When sadness or depression leads to extended periods of withdrawal, then following the urge may contribute to a cycle that perpetuates isolation, decreased motivation, and low mood. Opposition Action might include slowly increasing activity even before motivation or interest return.
This could look like:
Research has shown that acting opposite to emotional urges may reduce the intensity of some painful emotions, which can include depression.[3]
Anger can lead to an urge to:
And sometimes, the anger fits the facts. But the question becomes whether acting on the strongest urge will actually improve the situation.
For example, say a teen’s sibling borrowed something without permission. The teen likely feels angry, and the anger is justified, so the urge may be to storm into the room and scream. But Opposite Action may look like:
Shame often comes with the urge to hide. And it can appear even when the teen did nothing truly wrong. A teen may feel shame for:
When shame is unjustified, Opposite Action might look like:
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Sometimes an emotion is so intense that even when a teen knows the effective choice, they may not be able to access it.
They may be shaking. Their heart might be racing, and they may be struggling to think clearly. At that point, asking themself What would my Opposite Action be? may be ineffective.
The teen may first need a distress tolerance strategy to help decrease the level of activation they are experiencing. DBT includes helpful skills like TIPP, which involves temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, and paired muscle relaxation. These strategies can help teens get through highly activated moments before returning to problem-solving.
Another DBT skill is Wise Mind. This skill asks teens to consider both emotional information and logical information when problem-solving.
Emotion Mind may be more focused on the urge that comes with the present emotion, and Reasonable Mind may be focused on avoiding further consequences. But Wise Mind holds space for the emotion and the teen’s values.
Once Wise Mind is acknowledged, Opposite Action can then help a teen respond differently to the urge that is present.
Parents can help their teens use Opposite Action in a number of different ways. But as with any skill, Opposite Action will take time to become familiar, and when starting out, may be best used in less intense situations. The following steps may help when supporting your teen in developing this skill.
You could start by asking your teen what the emotion makes them want to do. Your teen may have more insight into their pattern when the question is framed around the behavior rather than around whether the emotion is reasonable.
For example, you could ask “What does the anxiety make you want to do?” instead of “Is the anxiety really necessary right now?”
Approaching an intense emotion does not always mean doing the hardest possible version immediately. It can begin with smaller steps.
For example, a socially anxious teen may begin by saying “hello” to one person or making one phone call. Small repetitions can help build confidence.
The goal of Opposite Action is not immediate emotional comfort; the goal is to increase behavioral flexibility. This means that the teen may still feel the emotion, but consciously chooses to act opposite of the urge anyway.
It’s important to comment on the efforts they make, even if the desired outcome isn’t immediately evident. For example, if your teen attends an event but still feels anxious, it’s important to note that the skill did not fail.
Opposite Action in DBT can help with anxiety, depression, changing behaviors, and building emotional regulation, but it does not replace appropriate mental health treatment. Consider professional support if your teen:
Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department if there is an immediate risk of harm. You can also call or text 988 for crisis support.
Mission Prep provides treatment for teens experiencing various mental health conditions. Mental Health support is a phone call away – call 866-901-4047 to learn about your treatment options.
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Opposite Action in DBT can teach teens that an emotion can be present without becoming an instruction. But it can be a difficult skill to build alone, and more support may be needed if mental health conditions are present.
At Mission Prep Teen Treatment, we use evidence-based therapeutic approaches and innovative interventions to foster sustainable change for adolescents and their families. We offer a variety of individualized mental health treatment programs for teens experiencing anxiety, depression, emotional dysregulation, self-harm, and other mental health concerns.
Treatment may include DBT and other approaches or opportunities for teens to practice emotional regulation with professional support. Parents can also get support and learn ways to validate their teen’s emotional experience while encouraging healthier responses.
Whether your teen could benefit from residential treatment at one of our locations in California or Virginia, or something more flexible like an outpatient mental health program or virtual telehealth to treat their mental health concerns, our team can help.
Mission Prep Teen Treatment accepts insurance and is in-network with most major providers. We are happy to help you check your insurance coverage for mental health care.
Contact us online or call 866-901-4047 to speak with a caring member of our team who can answer any questions you might have. Reach out for a free, no-obligation conversation.
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