The online identity teens construct today is part of growing up in a world of social media and technology. But it’s happening at a time when teens are still working out who they actually are. Identity develops gradually over the teenage years.[1]
Up to 95 percent of 13- to 17-year-olds use social media, so the space where they’re learning to be themselves comes with an audience.[2] It can feel like that audience is constantly judging or comparing them to others, and that there’s no way to take a break.
This article will explore:
Working out who they are is one of the major rites of passage of being a teenager. Research on adolescents has shown that identity tends to stabilize with age, although the rate at which this happens varies from person to person.[1] Many teenagers are still working out their identity at fifteen, and that’s a normal part of growing up.
What’s new for the younger generation is that some of that work happens on social media. Apps like TikTok let teens:[3]
Many teens use social media to manage their image and to stay in touch with friends and communities, which can have a lot of benefits. But social media can also have drawbacks.[4]
It can be useful to think of the digital identity teens develop as a double-edged sword. The same apps that connect teenagers with people who share their interests can also make an online identity teens develop feel like it’s always on display. Both can be true, and teens can learn to notice which aspect affects them on any given day.
A digital identity includes usernames, profile pictures, and posts, which together add up to an online self-image. That image can change as teens grow, and can be edited at any time.
Many teenagers go through phases of posting constantly, then barely at all. It’s all part of the identity development teens work through.
Posting on social media can come with some pretty big expectations. About 40 percent of young people on social media say they feel pressure to post only content that makes them look good to others.[5] Teens also describe wanting to present a “safe and socially acceptable” version of themselves to manage their reputation.[5]
Anyone who has taken a dozen photos hoping to get one good enough to post knows that feeling. Pressure around the online identity teens share is very common, and many teenagers experience it.
This pressure can be harder to handle when it affects:
Teens may also find they pay more attention than they’d like to on their social media identity, including the way their profiles and posts look to other people.
Likes and follower counts turn approval into something teens and others can see and track. Research on teens from 13 to 18 years old found greater activity in the brain areas involved with reward, social thinking, and attention when they saw photos with more likes.[6] That same research also showed that teens are more likely to like a photo if it already has a large number of likes.[6]
Adolescence is also a period of heightened sensitivity to social feedback.[2] Taken together, these findings suggest that the pull young people feel from the like counter is a common reaction. The first step is becoming aware of that pull and deciding how much a number should affect self-esteem.
Chasing approval can wear teens out. One study found that digital status seeking, or putting a lot of effort into getting online signs of peer approval, is associated with later increases in health risk behaviors like substance use.[7]
Another study showed that teens with a greater focus on digital self-presentation also tend to be more perfectionistic and have more problems with their relationship with food and eating.[8]
Both studies found that these factors tend to go together, but neither shows that posting itself causes the problems. For teenagers experiencing these struggles, talking with a friend, a trusted adult, or a counselor can be a helpful step.
Mission Prep is here to help you or your loved one take the next steps towards an improved mental well-being.
An online persona is one piece of the online identity teens build. It’s the version of themselves that they present on a social media platform. A gaming persona can be different from the one in a group chat or on a public profile, but all of them can still represent authentic aspects of an individual.
Having a persona doesn’t make who a teenager is in their digital life fake. What matters is how it feels to maintain that presence.
There are three types of self-presentation online:[9]
Choosing how to come across to other people is called impression management, and it’s a common part of social media use.[4]
A good question to consider regarding an authentic self online is whether the version presented on a feed feels genuine and fulfilling. If it doesn’t, teens can start by posting about subjects they are passionate about using their authentic voice.
Trying on different identities online can be a good thing. Social media lets teens test out different sides of themselves and see how their peers react.[5]
For LGBTQ+ young people in particular, social media can provide a sense of community, support, and space to explore identity. But like any online activity, it’s still open to risks like discrimination and cyberbullying.[10]
For teens who feel they cannot be themselves at home or at school, finding supportive communities online can mean a lot. It remains important to protect privacy and trust personal instincts when something online feels wrong. If someone online makes a teen uncomfortable, blocking them and informing a trusted adult is recommended.
Social media affects teens in different ways. In some cases, teens feel no different after scrolling their feeds. In other cases, some may feel better while others feel worse.[11] An individual’s reaction is what matters most, making it essential for teenagers to pay attention to how they feel after scrolling.
Here are a few strategies teens might try:
Sometimes the pressure is more than what a few small changes can fix. For teens feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, or unsafe, calling or texting 988 provides immediate access to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at any time.
There is no commitment required. Just an honest, confidential conversation about the support your family needs. Let’s take the first step together.
"*" indicates required fields
If a teenager is feeling stuck, anxious, or generally worn down by the online identity they feel they have to maintain, they don’t have to work through it alone. At Mission Prep Teen Treatment, we offer evidence-based mental health treatment programs for teens.
Our expert team works with each individual and their support system to identify mental health challenges and provide assistance. Treatment incorporates many different services and therapeutic approaches that help teens develop the skills needed for handling hard thoughts and big feelings.
Whether your teen could benefit from residential treatment or something more flexible, like a virtual outpatient program, our team can help. Mission Prep Teen Treatment accepts insurance and is in-network with many major providers. We are happy to help you check your insurance coverage for mental health care.
Learn about our locations online or call 866-901-4047 to speak with a caring member of our team who can answer any questions you might have. Reach out for a free, no-obligation conversation.
Are You Covered for Mental Health Treatment?
We’re in-network with many providers. Call us at 866-901-4047 to verify your benefits and find out how much your plan will cover
Find out if Mission Prep is right for you by reaching out to us and speaking with one of our admissions representatives.
