It can be good to take a break sometimes. Maybe you’ve had a stretch where staying in felt easier than going out, and replying to messages slowly dropped down your list of priorities. Now that you’re feeling more like yourself, you might be ready to reconnect with people, but not quite sure where to start.
Making friends after isolation can feel like a big step, especially if it’s been a while since you’ve been around others. But many of the worries that come with it may not reflect how other people actually feel, and there are simple ways to make reconnecting a little easier.
To help you with this, this page covers:
When you’re living with something as draining as a mental health condition, shutting yourself off from the people around you can feel necessary. Maybe you’ve stopped replying to group chats or started turning down plans you would once have said yes to.
This kind of social withdrawal is common with conditions like depression and anxiety, and it’s understandable when you’re dealing with their symptoms. For example, low mood can make it hard to find the energy to see people, and anxiety can make social situations feel like too much to handle.
But withdrawal can make these conditions worse. Studies have found that social isolation and loneliness increased the risk of depression, and possibly anxiety, in children and teens.[1]
So, if you’re reading this because you feel ready to reconnect, that’s a huge moment for you. Overcoming social withdrawal is a key part of social isolation recovery for teens, and wanting to make friends again shows you’re moving in the right direction.
Feeling ready to see people again and actually doing it are two different things, and making friends after isolation can feel worrying at first. When you start thinking about friendship after loneliness, it’s normal to have some concerns.
Here are some of the common ones:
It’s easy to assume friends will be annoyed with you or exclude you from the group if you suddenly get in touch after some time away. However, research says the opposite. Across a series of experiments, people who reached out to someone underestimated how much it would be appreciated.[2]
The difference was even bigger when the message came as a surprise, like when the two people hadn’t been in regular contact.[2] So that message you’re nervous about sending might mean more to them than you think.
After time away, it’s normal to worry about how you’ll come across to others. You might feel as though people will notice your every awkward pause or think you’re “strange.” Psychologists call this the “spotlight effect,” which is our habit of overestimating how much other people notice our appearance and the way we act.[3]
Researchers have also found that people underestimate how much their conversation partners like them and enjoy their company, known as the “liking gap.[1][4]
What these two findings show is that people pay far less attention to what you feel is awkward than you think. They also show that once a conversation is over, the other person probably liked you more than you realize.
Friendships change, and friendship breakups happen often during your teen years, regardless of whether you’ve spent time away from them or not. Research finds that friendships between young people can end within months or years, and even moving into a new school year can affect which friendships last.[5]
So if a friend group looks a little different when you return, know that it’s a normal part of growing up. It could also mean that there’s room for you to find your place again.
It can feel like your social skills have disappeared while you took some time away, but they come back with practice. Experts in behavioral therapy state that social skills are something we learn through practice and rehearsal.[6]
Rebuilding social confidence after isolation works the same way. Every conversation you have, even a short one, is a chance to get a little more comfortable.
If you’re making friends after isolation, there are two main ways to start rebuilding social connections. You can reconnect with friends you already know, or you can meet new people. Both can be great options, and you can even try a bit of each.
Reconnecting after isolation doesn’t have to be anything dramatic, and starting small can be a good first step. Here are some ideas to try:
Making new friends as a teenager can be tough, but it can become much easier if you’re around people who like the same things as you. Research on U.S. high school students found that teens who took part in the same extracurricular activities were more likely to become friends.[7]
Here are some places to start and why:
Remember, teen friendships can take time to grow, so try not to feel disheartened if you don’t connect with others the first few times you venture out.
Let’s say that you’ve attended one of the groups above and met some really cool, like-minded people. The next thing you probably want to do is start a conversation with them, but that can be easier said than done. Starting a conversation with a new person doesn’t have to be complicated, and you could try starters like:
One study found that people who asked more questions, especially follow-up questions, were better liked by the people they talked to.[8] So, if someone mentions a band they love, for example, you could try asking a follow-up question about that band to keep things flowing.
Sometimes a message goes unanswered, or a plan falls through, which can sting in the moment. But this doesn’t automatically mean someone doesn’t like you; people get busy sometimes or have their own things going on.
Give it a little while and try again, or you could try reaching out to someone else. Every attempt is still practice, and each one makes the next a little easier.
Mission Prep is here to help you or your loved one take the next steps towards an improved mental well-being.
If making friends after isolation feels harder than you expected, therapy can give you a safe place to practice and build your confidence. Mental health treatment for teens can support teen social reintegration in a few different ways:
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps you look at the way you think about social situations, including whether other people are really likely to judge you. It also uses gradual exposure, where you face less scary situations first before moving on to harder ones.[6] This can be helpful if you’re making friends after anxiety, and the same goes for making friends after depression.
Group therapy brings together different people who are working through similar challenges, which is often helpful in reducing feelings of isolation.[9] It’s also a chance to rehearse social situations with other people in your age group in a safe and supportive setting.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) teaches something called interpersonal effectiveness skills, which are created to help you improve your relationships with other people.[10] You’ll learn skills for navigating relationships and communicating effectively, as well as ways to manage your emotions when social situations feel difficult to handle.[10]
We’re here to help them learn the skills to manage Social Isolation & find their way back to themselves. There is no commitment required. Just an honest, confidential conversation about the support your family needs. Let’s take the first step together.
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If reconnecting with people feels harder than you expected, or the feelings that led you to isolation in the first place return, it might help to show this part to a parent.
At Mission Prep Teen Treatment, we provide expert mental health treatment programs that can support teens who may be experiencing social withdrawal, depression, or anxiety. Therapies like CBT and group therapy are part of how we help teens ages 12 to 17 build their confidence back up. As these become easier to manage, reconnecting with others can start to feel more possible for your teen.
Whether your teen could benefit from residential treatment or something more flexible, like a virtual outpatient program, our team can help. Mission Prep Teen Treatment accepts insurance and is in-network with most major providers. We are happy to help you check your insurance coverage for mental health care.
Learn more about our locations online or call 866-901-4047 to speak with a caring member of our team who can answer any questions you might have. Reach out for a free, no-obligation conversation.
Are You Covered for Social Isolation Treatment?
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