In the hubbub of the day, it can be easy for parents to forget one very important thing: you can’t pour from an empty cup. When parents forget about their own well-being, they can struggle to care for their children and family.
That’s where self-care for parents comes in. How important self-care is for parents can’t be overestimated – it’s a necessity, not a luxury. When you take care of yourself, you are making sure that you have the energy physically, emotionally, and mentally to be the best parent you can be.
In this post, we’ll look at ten simple tips to help you protect your mental health as a parent and focus on your own well-being, so that you can be the best version of yourself for you and your family.
Why Is Self-Care Important for Parents?
Being a parent can be the most rewarding job in the world, but unfortunately, it doesn’t come with solo vacation time. Sometimes it can be difficult to make time for self-care – other important things need your attention – but it really is vital for your mental health.
If you are struggling with your mental health, it can affect the way you parent and have knock-on effects on your child. With over 12 million parents in the U.S. living with a mental health condition, self-care for parents is essential for managing your stress levels and staying fit and healthy.1
That’s why we’ve come up with a list of ten tips to help you protect your mental health. Are you ready? Let’s dive in.
1. Recognize Your Mental Load
You might not realize it, but you do a lot of thinking in your day-to-day parenting – remembering what to get out for dinner, the schedules of your kids (and yourself), and so much more. Having a constant mental load can lead to stress, burnout, anxiety, and sleep deprivation.2
As a parent, your mental load will never completely go away, but you can do things to help ease it. If you have a partner, you could talk to them about taking on some of the load. You could try writing down lists to get the to-do’s out of your head and onto paper to help you see the most important things. You don’t have to get everything done at once, no one is perfect. Remember that you are doing the best that you can, and be kind to yourself.
2. Create Clear Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for managing stress and anxiety.3 It can take time and effort to set and maintain boundaries, but it’s effort that’s well-spent in the long run. For example, setting consistent boundaries with work about times you are available can help you stop work from seeping into your personal time.
You can also set boundaries with your friends and family about what is and isn’t acceptable for you. Learning to say ‘no’ is a big one as well, though it can feel uncomfortable at first if you’re not used to saying it. When you just don’t have the energy or time to do something that someone wants you to do, being able to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty will help you so much. Your time is important and valuable, and you get to choose how to spend it.
3. Take Time for You
Did you know that around 5 million U.S. parents experience burnout every year?4 Parental mental health matters and self-care is vital to recovering from the daily stresses parents experience.
One way you can take time for yourself is by having small breaks. Alone time is really important, it helps us to relax and recharge. Taking five minutes for yourself, where you can lock the bathroom door to take a few deep breaths or sit in the car to just listen to a mindful meditation (or enjoy a chocolate bar all to yourself) before picking the kids up, can really help.
4. Lean on Friends and Family
Have you heard of the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”? Being a parent was never meant to be done alone. Asking for help and support from people is nothing to be ashamed of, and they are usually happy to help out if you ask them for what you need.5 Maybe it’s looking after your child for the afternoon or running an errand for you. Asking your friends or family to help out can lighten your load. Plus your kids get the added bonus of spending some time with their favorite aunt, so it can be a win-win!
5. Relax and Breathe
Do you ever feel like you don’t have time to stop and catch your breath? Parenting can be like this, which is why it’s important to make sure that you take the time to slow down and breathe. Mindfulness helps you to do this and can reduce your stress and anxiety too.6 It’s all about being aware of what’s happening right here, right now.
Why not take a few minutes to focus on your breathing – noticing the air in your nose as you breathe in, and the feel of it in your mouth as you breathe out? Or perhaps some mindful eating, where you focus on the smells, flavors, and textures of eating a piece of chocolate. There are many mindfulness exercises out there that you can try that can be as quick as a minute.
6. Look After Your Body
Exercise is a great stress-buster, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends adults get at least 150 minutes of exercise per week.7,8 We know finding the time for this can be difficult, but even a ten-minute walk around the block can help boost your mood. Whether it’s doing a quick bit of yoga before the kids wake up, dancing while doing the housework, or walking to the shop with your child, make time to look after your body – it’s the only one you have.
7. Get as Much Sleep as Possible
Sleep is often the first thing we sacrifice when we’re overwhelmed. However, good sleep is essential for parent mental health. It can help reduce your stress, and improve your mood, memory, and attention.9 We know how important it is for children to have sleep routines and set bedtimes, but it’s important for adults too.
Try setting yourself a bedtime, or avoiding bright screens before sleeping as they tend to keep the brain active. See if you can build a relaxing bedtime routine for yourself to ensure you get the rest you need.
8. Celebrate Small Wins
Things don’t always go to plan, and that’s ok. You don’t need to criticize yourself when things go off-course, sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Whenever you have moments where you start to mentally beat yourself up over everything that’s going wrong, take a deep breath and remember all of the good things that have happened. Be proud of what an amazing job you are doing of raising your children. Look at how far you’ve come, and give yourself a pat on the back. And when something does go right, make sure to celebrate. You deserve it.
9. Connect With Others
Sometimes, it feels like you’ve lost part of yourself when you become a parent. You’re known as someone’s ‘mum’ or ‘dad,’ rather than being ‘you.’ Connecting with others can help you remember that you are a person too. Whether you make time for a catch-up coffee with a friend, or go to a yoga class with another parent from school, it can feel good to socialize as ‘you’ for a change. And by talking with other parents, you may find out that they understand some of the challenges you have because they struggle with them too.
10. Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can still feel overwhelmed. Parent mental health support exists for this very reason. Parents face a unique set of challenges, demands, and expectations, and seeking professional help is a great way to support your mental health when you feel overwhelmed. There are support groups, hotlines, online resources, and therapists who are available and ready to help you feel like your best self. Seeking support is a sign of strength, and you deserve to get the help that you need.
Seek Support for Parental Mental Health
Being a parent can be a challenging and rewarding job, and it’s important to remember to look after yourself.
At Mission Prep Healthcare, we offer premier treatment for teens and adolescents, and also provide resources for you as a parent, which you can find here:
If you want to find out more about how we can help you, give us a call at (866) 649-1223, or contact us here. Help is only a few clicks away.
References
- Stambaugh, L. F., Forman-Hoffman, V., Williams, J., Pemberton, M. R., Ringeisen, H., Hedden, S. L., & Bose, J. (2016). Prevalence of serious mental illness among parents in the United States: Results from the National Survey of Drug Use and Health, 2008–2014. Annals of Epidemiology, 27(3), 222–224. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.annepidem.2016.12.005
- UCLA Health. (2024, January 8). Mental load: What it is and how to manage it. https://www.uclahealth.org/news/article/mental-load-what-it-and-how-manage-it
- Mayo Clinic Health System. (2023, December 27). Map it out: Setting boundaries for your well-being. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/setting-boundaries-for-well-being
- Abramson, A. (n.d.). The impact of parental burnout. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/10/cover-parental-burnout
- Anna Freud. (n.d.). Self-care for parents and carers. https://www.annafreud.org/resources/family-wellbeing/self-care-for-parents-and-carers/
- NHS. (2024, November 25). Mindfulness. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/mindfulness/
- Childs, E., & De Wit, H. (2014). Regular exercise is associated with emotional resilience to acute stress in healthy adults. Frontiers in Physiology, 5. https://doi.org/10.3389/fphys.2014.00161
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023, December 20). Adult activity: An overview. https://www.cdc.gov/physical-activity-basics/guidelines/adults.html
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024, May 15). About sleep. https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about/index.html
