Teen Anger Management: Understanding Suppressed Anger

We all get angry sometimes – it’s a natural, human response to an upsetting situation. But if we don’t deal with our anger, it can build up inside and affect our mental health. 

Managing teen anger involves carefully navigating emotions; helping them understand that it’s healthy and normal to feel the way they do. If they try to ignore or fight against their emotions, they can feel like they’re battling a storm at sea – the waves become stronger and they end up exhausted and burnt out. Yet, with patience and acceptance, they can learn how to calmly manage their emotions and not feel consumed by anger. 

If you or someone you know suppresses anger to the extent that it is affecting your mental health, awareness, and understanding are the first steps towards healthy emotional expression. 

To help you understand suppressed anger and manage it in healthy ways, this article discusses:

  • What suppressed anger is
  • The signs of suppressed anger in teens
  • The causes of suppressed anger
  • How suppressed anger can affect teens in the long run
  • Teen anger therapy options
  • Tips for managing suppressed anger in teens
Suppressed anger in teen boy

What Is Suppressed Anger?

Anger, like all emotions, can help us understand who we are; what we like and dislike, and how to communicate our feelings to others. For these reasons, anger needs to be acknowledged and listened to. But what is suppressed anger?

Suppressed anger (sometimes known as “repressed anger”) is when we either ignore our frustrations or hold them in. The problem with suppressing our anger is that, just because we ignore it, it doesn’t go away. Anger has to go somewhere, and usually, we direct it inward – leading to a range of emotional, physical, and behavioral problems.
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Suppressed anger in teens could be compared to a shaken tin of soda. From the outside, the tin looks the same, but every time it’s shaken, pressure builds on the inside. Unless we figure out how to release this pressure in a gentle way, the soda on the inside of the can will eventually explode.  
This same sense of pressure builds up in teens when they suppress their anger, which is why it’s important to recognize the signs of suppressed anger in teens.

Signs of Suppressed Anger in Teens

Everybody is unique, with different experiences and personalities, so signs of suppressed anger in teens can differ from person to person. However, the following are some of the more common ways that suppressed anger can show up in a teenager1-3:

If you suspect that you or a loved one are dealing with chronic anger issues, one of the first steps is developing awareness of the signs. The signs of anger issues in teens include:

Withdrawal

When a teenager is fighting against their feelings of anger, they may withdraw from their friends and family. This withdrawal might come across as typical adolescent behavior, but it also may be because they’re fearful of losing control of their anger around others.

Mood Swings

Shifting from seeming calm in one moment, to suddenly seeming irritated or frustrated can indicate suppressed anger in teens.

Substitute Emotions

If a teenager is suppressing their anger, their underlying emotion may end up being “masked” by others that they deem as being more socially “acceptable.” For instance, they may seem sad, indifferent, or even overly happy in an attempt to push down how they’re really feeling.

Outbursts

Anger can’t stay pushed down forever, so it can explode in outbursts such as breaking or throwing things, getting into fights, or being emotionally or physically hurtful. These outbursts are also usually disproportionate to the situation at hand.

Passive Aggression

Passive aggression can be a less direct way for a teen to express their frustrations to others, such as parents, teachers, and peers. This might look like speaking sarcastically to others, giving the “silent treatment,” or saying subtly insulting things.

In addition to these signs, teens who bottle up their anger might also show physical symptoms such as exhaustion (due to lack of sleep) and frequent, unexplainable stomach pains, headaches, or muscle pains. They may also have problems with their friend groups and school work. 

Causes of Suppressed Anger

Adolescence is a time of significant physical and mental change, which can be difficult to navigate at times. Therefore, there are many potential reasons why a teenager might feel angry and bottle it up. 

To help bring awareness to the challenges a teenager might face and the feelings of anger these challenges can cause, we’ll discuss the potential causes of suppressed anger in teens.
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Triggers for, or the reasons why, a teen might suppress anger, include: 
  • Family Environment:
    Growing up in a household where emotional expressions such as anger are either discouraged or punished can leave a teenager feeling unsafe letting go of their anger. Additionally, if caregivers struggle to express their emotions, a child learns that this is the normal and acceptable way to behave. 
  • Trauma: Early experiences of trauma can be difficult for a teen to process, so they may deny the existence of their anger rather than have to confront it and why they feel this way.
  • Social or Cultural “Norms”: The society we live in affects how we express ourselves. We may live in an area that frowns upon anger and sees it as a lack of ability to control ourselves. Additionally, many cultures see anger as being a more “male” emotion, whereas females should only show the soft, feminine aspects of themselves – which also affects how a teen expresses their emotions. 
  • Wanting to “Fit In”: Feeling accepted by peers is important to a teenager, so they may feel the need to disguise their anger to fit in. 
  • Low Confidence or Self-Esteem: A teen who suppresses their anger might do so as they see their emotions as “unimportant.” They might also try to people-please to gain their approval, so push down their anger in case it’s frowned upon. 
  • Personality Traits: Teens with perfectionist tendencies may be more prone to anger suppression as they feel frustrated or as though they’ve “failed” when they’re not able to control their emotions. 
  • Avoiding Conflict: To keep harmony at home, at school, or with friends, teens may ignore their anger rather than risk upsetting the peace. 
  • Feeling Discriminated Against: Being treated unfairly can lead to issues with repressed anger and self-esteem. Someone who has experienced racism, sexism, or identity discrimination may be especially prone to bottling up emotions. 

You or someone you love might have reasons for suppressing anger that aren’t included in this list – or you may not fully understand why you do. This is normal; you might have had a build-up of bad experiences or are going through hormonal or physical changes. Paying attention to how you’re feeling and when can help you better understand why you’re feeling the way you do.  
Suppressed anger in teen girl listening to music

Impact of Suppressed Anger in Teens

Sometimes, pushing down anger can have benefits – it allows us to pause for a moment before reacting with hostility or saying something we regret. But if suppressing anger is your go-to response to triggering situations, then it can have a range of negative emotional, physical, and behavioral effects.5-7 Let’s discuss each of these in turn.

The Emotional Effects of Anger Suppression

It reduces our chances to learn: Every emotion we experience is a chance to learn from our environment and the people in it. As adolescence is considered the “second window” of development, not taking the time to acknowledge, accept, and learn from our emotions – including anger – means that we’re not taking advantage of the opportunity to learn about who we are, including what values and needs we possess. 

It affects our ability to express ourselves healthily: If we don’t learn how to express our frustrations in response to day-to-day triggers as teenagers, then we may struggle to know how to respond to more major issues as we develop. There will come times in life when it’s critical to express anger, so it’s important to learn how to healthily do so as a teenager.

It can affect our mental health: According to the American Psychological Association (APA), if we don’t learn how to control our anger, it will eventually control us. This stress of constantly battling against how we’re feeling can eventually lead to mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or emotional “numbness.”

The Physical Effects of Anger Suppression

A prolonged state of stress: Suppressing anger for a long time can put the body in a state of constant physical stress. Anger is an evolutionary state designed to detect threats in our environment, so ignoring it can lead to long-term raised blood pressure and heart rate. 

Sleep disturbances and burnout: Feeling like we’re not able to release something that’s bothering us can cause the issue to circle in our minds – affecting sleep and leading to long-term fatigue. 

Increased health problems: Ignoring anger can manifest as physical health problems such as constant stomach aches, headaches, muscle tension – and even high blood pressure in the long run. 

The Behavioral Effects of Anger Suppression

As mentioned in “The Signs of Suppressed Anger in Teens” section, the behavioral effects of anger suppression include

  • Sudden outbursts of anger

  • Passive aggression

  • Withdrawal

  • Mood swings

However, another behavioral effect of anger suppression is risk-taking behaviors. Such behaviors include self-destructive acts which could have potential long-term consequences for a teen’s life. For example:

  • Picking fights to release pent-up frustrations

  • Engaging in unprotected sex, which can lead to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy

  • Risky driving, which can lead to accidents or legal consequences

Each of the mentioned emotional, physical, and behavioral effects of long-term anger suppression also has the potential to damage a teen’s relationships with loved ones and affect school work – risking success and fulfillment in later life. It’s therefore clear that helping teenagers recognize, accept, and manage their emotions is key to a happier life and better well-being overall. 

Teen Suppressed Anger Therapy

It can be difficult to know how to start managing anger in healthy ways if opening up emotionally doesn’t come naturally to you. If pushing down your frustrations is affecting your or your loved one’s ability to lead a happy, fulfilled life, therapy for suppressed anger issues can help. 

A therapist trained in anger management can help you recognize, understand, and accept your emotions in a safe environment – as well as assist you in putting strategies into place for managing them in the “real world.”

Plus, therapy for suppressed anger isn’t a “one size fits all” approach – the options are highly diverse to fit unique needs. Options for teen anger therapy include:

CBT focuses on how our thoughts and actions influence each other. In CBT for suppressed anger, a therapist can help you identify and challenge harmful thought patterns that contribute to bottling up emotions.

Mindfulness Practices:

Mindfulness practices for releasing suppressed anger can be especially useful in helping teens manage their intense emotions in the moment. Practicing techniques such as deep breathing, grounding, and muscle relaxation can help them develop a better awareness of their feelings and learn how to release anger more effectively. You can read more about mindfulness here.

Family Counseling:

For teenagers who find expressing their emotions in the home setting difficult, family therapy or counseling may be a good option. Teen anger support therapy provides a neutral ground in which everyone can express themselves without judgment, helping to explore the root causes of anger suppression and how to manage it better.

Anger Expression Techniques:

This form of therapy focuses on helping people find ways to express their anger assertively and constructively. It may involve verbal expression exercises or role-playing responses to situations involving anger. 

Art Therapy:

This approach can bypass barriers that sometimes happen in talk therapy for people who struggle with their emotions. It involves using creative outlets like drawing or painting to express repressed emotions and explore underlying issues. 

Tips for Managing Suppressed Anger in Teens

If you’re bottling up anger to the extent that it’s affecting your daily life, talking to a professional for support and guidance is recommended. However, if you would like to try some immediate anger expression techniques to help you manage your emotions, the following tips can help.8

Improve Communication:

Anger can cloud our judgment and affect how we talk to others, often leading to conflict and even more anger. When angry, try not to say the first thing that pops into your head, and instead pause for a moment. Listen to the underlying message the other person might be trying to give – as well as to the possible reasons behind your anger.

Practice Mindfulness:

Mindfulness is useful for shifting your focus to your body and releasing pent-up emotions. For instance, the Five Senses technique can help feelings of overwhelm from taking over by bringing your awareness to your environment. You can do this by trying to mentally list…

  • Five things you can see
  • Four things you can hear 
  • Three things you can touch
  • Two things you can smell
  • One thing you can taste

Deep Breathing:

For teenagers who find expressing their emotions in the home setting difficult, family therapy or counseling may be a good option. Teen anger support therapy provides a neutral ground in which everyone can express themselves without judgment, helping to explore the root causes of anger suppression and how to manage it better.

Try Journaling:

Journaling can be a great way to release emotions, plus it can help you see patterns in how you feel, where you feel it, and potential reasons for why.

Get Guidance on Teen Anger Management

Managing teen anger might seem overwhelming, but with patience, understanding, and the right type of support, it’s entirely achievable. 

If you recognize yourself or a loved one in some of the signs of suppressed anger in teens, help is available. Teen anger support in the form of psychoeducation, stress management workshops, and online support groups can help teens recognize that what they’re feeling is normal – and that they’re not alone in feeling this way. 

At Mission Prep, we believe that every element of the individual’s and family’s care is important – and our approach to treatment makes sure every need is met. We offer inpatient treatment for teen anger, as well as outpatient services, aiming to ensure individualized and effective care. Our team is available 24/7, so don’t hesitate to contact us if you would like more information or support. 

Reaching out can be hard, but it’s also brave. Whatever your needs are, you don’t have to manage the journey alone – Mission Prep is here to help. 

Suppressed anger in teens in a circle

References

  1. Burns, J. W., Evon, D., & Strain-Saloum, C. (1999). Repressed anger and patterns of cardiovascular, self-report and behavioral responses: Effects of harassment. Journal of Psychosomatic Research47(6), 569-581
  2. Puskar, K., Ren, D., Bernardo, L. M., Haley, T., & Stark, K. H. (2008). Anger Correlated with Psychosocial Variables in Rural Youth. Issues in Comprehensive Pediatric Nursing, 31(2), 71–87. https://doi.org/10.1080/01460860802023513
  3. Davis, E. (n.d.). Effective anger management for teens: Handle frustration, stop the rage, and improve communication. Impact Publishing.
  4. Musante, L., & Treiber, F. A. (n.d.). The relationship between anger-coping styles and lifestyle behaviors in teenagers. Journal of Adolescence, 34(4), 403-413. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2020.02.010
  5. Suh, H. W., Lee, K. B., Chung, S. Y., Park, M., Jang, B. H., & Kim, J. W. (2021). How suppressed anger can become an illness: a qualitative systematic review of the experiences and perspectives of hwabyung patients in Korea. Frontiers in psychiatry, 12, 637029
  6. Perozzo, P., Savi, L., Castelli, L., Valfrè, W., Lo Giudice, R., Gentile, S., … & Pinessi, L. (2005). Anger and emotional distress in patients with migraine and tension–type headache. The journal of headache and pain, 6, 392-399
  7. Beyond IBS. (n.d.). Fire in my belly: Repressed anger and IBS. https://beyondibs.co.uk/fire-in-my-belly/
  8. American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Recognizing signs of suppressed anger in teenagers.