TEENAGE DOMESTIC ABUSE:
Signs, Impact, andTreatment Options
It is estimated that up to 10 million children and teenagers in the United States are exposed to some form of domestic abuse or violence each year.2 Yet, a survey conducted by the Childhood Domestic Violence Association showed that only 10% of people questioned about domestic violence thought about the effects on children. In fact, many of them believed that children and teenagers would most likely not be aware of what’s happening.3
Teenagers are seriously affected by domestic violence – and only when this effect is understood and recognized can they receive the support they need. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, this article can help by discussing:
What teenage domestic abuse is- The signs a teen is witnessing domestic abuse
- How domestic abuse affects teens
- Domestic abuse help for teens
- Options for therapy for teenage domestic violence
- When to seek help for teenage domestic abuse
What Is Teenage Domestic Abuse?
According to the American Psychiatric Association, domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any age and any background. It can also occur in any relationship or family – and may affect someone even when the relationship is over. However, despite these facts, domestic abuse most commonly affects teenagers and children.4,5
Domestic abuse or violence can include a range of behaviors, but the following are some of the most common:5
Physical Violence: When someone hurts (or tries to hurt) another person by kicking, slapping, punching, or using an object to strike them.
- Emotional Abuse: Hurting another person through the use of verbal and non-verbal communication (such as the “silent treatment” or body language) with the aim of gaining control or harming them psychologically.
- Controlling Behaviors: Telling someone what they can and can’t wear, where they can go, and who they can see. Controlling behaviors also include guilting another person for not doing as they’ve been told, reading text and social media messages, and controlling finances.
- Sexual abuse: Forcing someone to do something sexual when they don’t want to.
If a teenager sees or hears someone being abused, witnesses the consequences of this abuse, or experiences police involvement, then they are also considered to be victims of domestic abuse. Sometimes, even just being aware of a change in attitude in the perpetrator or victim after a domestic violence incident is enough to inflict trauma on a teen.1
Signs a Teen Is Witnessing Domestic Abuse
Changes to mood: A teen who has witnessed domestic abuse may become anxious and depressed. They may also start to come across as aggressive without any clear trigger as to why.
- Withdrawal: While some teens may attempt to cope with trauma through outward expressions of emotions, such as aggression, others may bottle them up and direct them inwards. This can lead them to become more withdrawn.
- Low self-image: Teens who direct their negative emotions inward may feel guilty and blame themselves for their trauma. This self-blame can lower their self-esteem and self-worth.
- Fatigue: Experiencing trauma can cause sleep disturbances, leading a teen to seem frequently exhausted – affecting their concentration and motivation.
- Unexplainable illnesses: Teens who are experiencing domestic abuse may get a lot of stomach pains, headaches, and muscle tension – without any medical reason as to why.
In addition, a teen witnessing domestic abuse may feel contradictory emotions towards a person they care about who is being abusive – and also the person on the receiving end of the abuse. This can lead them to feel highly isolated; they have no control over their environment and the people in it so are likely scared, confused, and powerless.
If you or someone you know is witnessing domestic abuse, it’s important to remember that it is not your fault. There are people and resources that you can turn to for help – you don’t have to handle this alone.
How Domestic Abuse Affects Teens
The long-term effects of domestic violence can depend on things such as a teenager’s age, personality traits, and how long the abuse has been going on. However, evidence shows that domestic violence can impact teens’ physical, emotional, behavioral, and social development in wide-ranging ways.6 These include the following:
Behavioral Changes in Teens Exposed to Abuse6,7
- Repeating behaviors they’ve seen: A teen may attempt to cope with negative emotions by reenacting aggressive or abusive actions they’ve seen at home. They may also see these behaviors as “normal.”
- Problems with school work: They may struggle academically, as they might find concentrating difficult or “act out” a lot in class. They may also skip school due to struggles with motivation and goal-setting for the future. Further, they might show defiance of authority figures, such as teachers.
- Seeming constantly fearful and stressed: They may seem constantly agitated – as though on the lookout for threats.
- Regular complaints of illness: A teen may not connect how they feel emotionally with how they feel physically, but there are both short and long-term effects of trauma on the body. They may have a rapid heartbeat and breathing in response to even slightly stressful circumstances, as well as recurring headaches and stomach pains. Also, if trauma isn’t processed, these issues can continue into adulthood and increase the risk of serious health problems.
Emotional Symptoms of Domestic Violence in Teens6-9
- Mental health issues: Being a victim of domestic abuse can make a teenager feel isolated, constantly under stress, and cause changes to how their brain is wired. These issues can lead to an increased risk of developing mental health conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and self-harm behaviors.
- Self-esteem problems: A teen experiencing domestic abuse may blame themselves for what they’re going through. Therefore, they could form an insecure attachment style, see themselves as unworthy of truly loving relationships, and develop an increased tolerance for abuse. These issues can continue into adulthood unless they’re resolved.
- Unhealthy ways of coping: A teen may attempt to find “safe” ways of coping with their feelings, such as by pushing them down or misdirecting their anger toward others. These ways of coping may provide temporary relief from how they’re feeling, but in the end, can make them feel worse and damage their relationships.
- Feel burdened by caring responsibilities: Sometimes, a teen who is going through domestic abuse may end up feeling responsible for the physical and mental well-being of others in the home. These people might include siblings or an abused caregiver.
Social Effects of Domestic Violence in Teens6,10,11
- Isolation: A teen may feel stigmatized by what they’re going through – as though others will judge them for it. As a result, they may not want to talk about their experiences.
- Lack of trust: Seeing someone they trust act in abusive ways can lead teens to feel as though others are unpredictable and untrustworthy, potentially influencing how they act in future relationships.
- Choosing the “wrong” partners: According to research, teens who are abused (or who witness abuse) may repeat their trauma in future relationships by picking partners who may be more likely to be abusive. This might be because of how abusive behaviors are normalized to them, or it could be due to how abuse can damage self-esteem and boundary-setting abilities.
It’s important to recognize that as well as behavioral, emotional, and social effects, domestic abuse can have life-changing physical impacts on a teen and their development. Teens don’t just “witness” domestic abuse – they experience it. Help is available in the form of domestic abuse hotlines and professional support.
Domestic Abuse Help for Teens
If you are experiencing domestic abuse, you are not to blame. There are people you can turn to for help and support.
If you suspect someone you know is a victim of domestic abuse, there are resources available, and letting them know you’re there for them can help them feel supported – even if they don’t want to open up.
You can let a teen experiencing abuse know you’re there for them by:
Showing them that you understand they’re in a difficult and scary situation.- Telling them that what they’re going through is not their fault.
- Reassuring them that they’re not alone and that you can help them find support.
- Listening to them. You don’t have to be able to fix the problem, but you might be the first person in a long time to let them have a voice.
- Provide them with resources (detailed below).
- Respecting the decisions that they make. You cannot force them to speak to someone, but you can make sure they don’t feel alone or judged.
If you’re worried about someone’s immediate safety, it may be necessary to call 911.
Teen-Focused Domestic Violence Counseling
Teenage domestic abuse can leave a teen needing the opportunity to talk. Domestic abuse can strip them of any sense of control and power, leaving them fearful that their concerns will not be taken seriously. Teen-focused domestic violence counseling can help give a teen their voice back – allowing them to make decisions for themselves. It can also help them to heal from trauma, rebuild their self-worth, and make healthy decisions for future relationships.
If you or someone you know has experienced domestic abuse, speaking to a mental or medical health professional can give you the best information on what treatments are most suitable for you. The following are some options for effective therapy for teens from abusive households:
Trauma-focused CBT can help teens heal from domestic violence as it focuses on distressing thoughts, helps identify and process emotions, targets self-blame, and develops coping skills.
EMDR therapy for teenage domestic abuse can help process trauma in a safe, supportive environment. It changes the way trauma is stored in the brain, allowing the teen to heal and build positive self-beliefs.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
DBT was adapted from CBT for people who struggle with strong or difficult emotions and can help teenagers who have experienced domestic abuse learn practical ways of managing emotions and stress.
TMS’ non-invasive approach can reduce the symptoms of trauma by rebalancing the brain, promoting a more stable mood and better well-being.
Group Therapy
This form of therapy provides a safe space for teens to express how they feel, process their emotions, and realize that they’re not alone in their experiences.
When to Seek Help for Teenage Domestic Abuse
If you suspect a teenager is experiencing domestic abuse, the time to seek help is now. The short and long-term effects of domestic abuse are wide-ranging and can make them feel unsafe, alone, and misunderstood. Letting them know they have your support can go a long way – including that you will be by their side if they choose to seek help.
Mission Prep is here to support any teen who has experienced abuse. Our team of trained professionals offers individualized care based on a teen’s needs – allowing them a role in their own treatment and well-being. We help teens who have undergone trauma feel safe, listened to, and understood.
Reaching out is the first step towards better health. Contact us today for support and guidance.
References
1. Domestic Violence Services Network (DVSN). (2024, May). Concerning children: Childhood domestic violence (2 of 2). Retrieved 3rd Feb 2025, from https://www.dvsn.org/may-2024-concerning-children-childhood-domestic-violence-2-of-2/
2. Resource Center on Domestic Violence: Child Protection and Custody (RCDVCPC). (n.d.). Rates of child abuse and child exposure to domestic violence. Retrieved 3rd Feb 2025, from https://www.rcdvcpc.org/rates-of-child-abuse-and-child-exposure-to-domestic-violence.html
3. Childhood Domestic Violence Association (CDV). (2024, June). What is childhood domestic violence? Retrieved 3rd Feb 2024, from https://cdv.org/2024/06/what-is-childhood-domestic-violence/
4. American Psychiatric Association. (n.d.). Domestic violence. Psychiatry.org. Retrieved [insert retrieval date], from https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/domestic-violence
5. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 2017. Preventing Intimate Partner Violence Across the Lifespan. Technical Package of Programs, Policies, and Practices.
6. Research in Practice. (n.d.). Children experiencing domestic violence: Signpost summary. Research in Practice.
7. Riggs, S. A., & Kaminski, P. (2010). Childhood Emotional Abuse, Adult Attachment, and Depression as Predictors of Relational Adjustment and Psychological Aggression. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 19(1), 75–104. https://doi.org/10.1080/10926770903475976
8. Dutton, D. G., & Painter, S. (1993). Emotional attachments in abusive relationships: A test of traumatic bonding theory. Violence and Victims, 8(2), 105-120. https://doi.org/
9. World Health Organization. (2013). Global and regional estimates of violence against women: prevalence and health effects of intimate partner violence and non-partner sexual violence.
10. Widom, C. S., Czaja, S. J., & Dutton, M. A. (1995). Childhood victimization and risk for intimate partner violence in adulthood. American Journal of Public Health, 89(4), 560-566. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.89.4.560
11. Messman-Moore, T. L., & Coates, A. A. (2007). The impact of childhood psychological abuse on adult interpersonal conflict: The role of early maladaptive schemas and patterns of interpersonal behavior. Journal of Emotional Abuse, 7(2), 75-92. https://doi.org/10.1300/J135v07n02_05
