If you find yourself doing things when you are with your peers that you wouldn’t normally do, you may be experiencing peer pressure. This occurs when you feel the need to conform to a group’s behavior or expectations in order to fit in and be accepted.
Peer pressure can influence people in both positive and negative ways. While it can encourage healthy behaviors and personal growth, it can also lead to risky decisions that impact our well-being. And this is never more true than in our teen years.
The teenage years are a time of significant brain development. Between the ages of 10 and 19, the brain undergoes major neurobiological changes.1 The reward centers of the brain become more active, making adolescents more sensitive to social interactions and peer influence. Additionally, the prefrontal cortex – responsible for decision-making and impulse control – is still developing, making it harder to resist peer pressure.2
Below, we explore what peer pressure is, as well as 8 top tips for coping with peer pressure as a teen.
What Is Peer Pressure?
Peer pressure happens when someone feels compelled to behave in a way that aligns with their social group, even if it goes against their usual choices or values.3 Adolescents are particularly susceptible to peer pressure due to their developing brains and increased focus on social belonging.4
What Is Positive Peer Pressure?
Peer pressure isn’t always negative. Friends can encourage each other to take part in positive activities that contribute to their growth, mental health, and self-confidence.5 Some examples of positive peer pressure include:
- Taking part in a charity event, such as a run to raise awareness and money
- Joining a band or learning a new style of music
- Developing an interest in food or travel
- Being a good neighbor
- Volunteering for a charity
- Working hard at school
What Is Negative Peer Pressure?
Peer groups can influence you in negative ways too. You may feel under pressure to look a certain way or speak a certain way just to fit in. You may feel under pressure to behave in a way that does not align with your values, too.
Peer pressure can lead to the following harmful behaviors:
- Taking up a new habit that impacts health in a negative way, such as smoking or vaping.
- Following a restrictive diet to lose weight to ‘fit in’ with a group identity.
- Engage in unkind or bullying behaviors to fit in with the group.
- Commit antisocial behavior, such as littering or making levels of noise late at night that impact neighbors.
- Breaking rules, including not going to school.
- Sending inappropriate messages or images.
8 Tips for Coping With Peer Pressure
Finding a balance between fitting in and staying true to yourself is key when it comes to peer pressure. Let’s explore 8 key ways you can manage peer pressure, so you can continue to live by your values.
1. Focus on Forming Good Friends (Not Lots Of Them)
At school, it can feel like the best way to fit in is to have a big group of friends. But bigger friendship groups aren’t always better. It’s possible to still feel lonely and isolated, even when you’re with a big group of people, and the reason for this is the quality of the relationships.
The quality of your friendships is more important than how many friendships you have.6 So, choose friends who respect you and your choices, and encourage you to be nothing other than yourself. This will mean they’re less likely to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do, and they’ll understand whenever you say, “No.”
2. Come Up With an Excuse
It can be stressful when you’re in a situation where you’re being pressured into something by your peers. You may not know exactly what to do, and it may feel easier in the moment to just do what they’re pressuring you into. But it’s never a good idea to do something that feels wrong or goes against your values or beliefs.
One way to avoid giving in to peer pressure is to think of excuses ahead of time. Phrases like “I can’t. I’m already in so much trouble at home.” or “I’m training for sports, and this would mess me up” if peer pressure is around risky behaviors like smoking or drinking alcohol.
3. Say, “How About We…Instead?”
If your friends suggest something that you don’t want to do or make you feel uncomfortable, you can offer an alternative. For example, if they suggest skipping school, you could say, “How about we hang out after school instead? There’s this really cool place I want to go to.” This means you can spend time with your friends while staying true to your values.
4. Stay Away From Some Situations
Certain situations and people put us at a greater risk of experiencing peer pressure. In these situations, it may be best to avoid this, wherever possible. For example, if you know that there are hidden spots for vaping or smoking around school, try to avoid these. Also, if a certain group of friends encourages risky behavior and you’re invited to a party, it’s okay to come up with an excuse why you can’t go.
5. Learn Coping Strategies That Work for You
You can learn ways to handle your stress and calm your body in moments of peer pressure. Using coping strategies will help you keep a clear head and keep your cool, so you can stay true to your values and only do things you feel comfortable with. Some great coping strategies to try are:
- Deep breathing: Box breathing is a great example of this. Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, and hold for 4. Then repeat.
- Positive affirmations: Such as, “My values deserve to be respected” and “I don’t have to do anything that makes me feel uncomfortable.”
- Grounding object: You can keep a small, calming object in your pocket, like a stone. When you’re in a peer pressure situation, you can touch or stroke your thumb over this object, and it’ll bring you back to the present moment and remind you you’re in control.
You can also try mindfulness or role peer pressure situations so you know exactly what to do.
6. Set an Escape Plan
If you ever feel uncomfortable in a situation, having a pre-planned way to leave quickly can help. Arrange a code word with a parent, caregiver, or friend you trust so they know when it’s time to leave or they can help you to exit without asking questions. Or, keep enough money on hand for a bus or taxi ride home.
7. Be Confident Saying “No”
Saying no is hard, especially when you desperately want to fit in with your friends. You might be worried that they’ll think you’re lame or boring if you don’t give in to their pressure, but that’s far from the truth.
Use a firm tone and direct eye contact when declining something you’re uncomfortable with. If they keep persisting, you can make up an excuse, or even tell them, “No, I’m not interested.”
8. Get Help From an Adult
Seeking guidance from an adult you trust can give you a different perspective and help prevent you from making decisions you later regret. While it may not always feel like the adults around you “get it,” adults have life experience that can help you manage a difficult social situation with confidence. If you feel unsafe at any time, talk to an adult no matter what the situation is, or if you feel you don’t want to get someone else into trouble.
At Mission Prep Healthcare, our experienced clinicians are able to support you through a range of mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, mood, thought disorders, and trauma. Our programs can also help you manage academic and social pressures, giving you the tools to handle whatever peer pressure situations come your way.
Stand Strong Against Peer Pressure Today
If you’re a teen who’s struggling to cope with peer pressure or a parent who’s worried about your child, we at Mission Prep can help. We’re committed to delivering the highest level of care to your teen and support them in whatever challenges they face.
At Mission Prep, we have an academic and social challenges program designed to specifically address the needs of teenagers. Whether your teen needs residential, outpatient, or intensive outpatient support, we will work with you to support your teen to best manage their unique challenges.
If you want to know more or reach out to us for support, contact us at (866) 812-8416 or reach out here.
References
- World Health Organization: WHO. (2019, November 26). Adolescent health. https://www.who.int/health-topics/adolescent-health#tab=tab_1
- Albert, D., Chein, J., & Steinberg, L. (2013). The teenage brain. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 22(2), 114–120. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721412471347
- American Psychiatric Association. (n.d.). APA Dictionary of Psychology: Peer Pressure. https://dictionary.apa.org/peer-pressure
- Alsarrani, A., Hunter, R. F., Dunne, L., & Garcia, L. (2022). Association between friendship quality and subjective wellbeing among adolescents: a systematic review. BMC Public Health, 22(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-022-14776-4
- Boruah, A. (2016). Positive impacts of peer pressure: A systematic review. Indian Journal of Positive Psychology, 7(1).
- Barzeva, S. A., Richards, J. S., Veenstra, R., Meeus, W. H. J., & Oldehinkel, A. J. (2021). Quality over quantity: A transactional model of social withdrawal and friendship development in late adolescence. Social Development, 31(1), 126–146. https://doi.org/10.1111/sode.12530
