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Supporting a Child's Mental Health
While Your Spouse Is Deployed

Emma Loker
June 11, 2025
Authored by: Emma Loker, B.S.
Edited by: Aja Chavez, AMFT, APCC
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Parenting during spouse deployment can be incredibly tough. The lack of partner or parent support and loneliness can have a big impact on spouses and teens coping with deployed parent schedules. It’s important to know how child mental health during deployment changes and what you can do to help your teen get through these tough months.

At Mission Prep, we know how difficult co-parenting during deployment can be. We’re here to help military teens and their families gain the coping skills they need to support one another. This guide can also help you learn to manage child mental health during deployment, as it includes information about:

  • How military deployment affects children, including its emotional and behavioral impacts
  • The psychological challenges of military deployment children may face
  • How to support a child while your spouse is deployed
  • How Mission Prep can help 
Supporting a Child's Mental Health While Your Spouse Is Deployed

How Does Military Deployment Affect Children?

For teens with a deployed parent, emotional, behavioral, and psychological changes and challenges can all impact daily life. Even after a parent returns home, these effects can be long-standing. As a parent, it’s good to familiarize yourself with the different issues that may arise during and after deployment so you can start supporting teens in single-parent military homes.

The following information takes an in-depth look at how deployment can affect teen well-being. 

Emotional Impact of Military Deployment on Children

The teenage years are already filled with emotional challenges, but emotions can be even more impacted due to a parent’s deployment. For instance, according to the Department of Veterans Affairs, there are several emotional issues teens may face when their loved one deploys, including:1

  • Increased anger toward others
  • Persistent feelings of sadness
  • Engaging in risky behaviors
  • Difficulty regulating fear
  • Emotional outbursts, such as throwing tantrums
  • Bad temper and difficulties being soothed
  • Getting easily irritated and fighting with others
  • Insomnia
  • Clinginess and attention-seeking actions

Not every child will react emotionally in these ways. But, in general, children with a deployed parent are usually scared about what could happen to their parent and how it will affect them. Some children may also feel a sense of disruption even after a parent returns from deployment.

Because of these emotional issues, supporting teens in single-parent military homes can be quite a challenge. For this reason, it’s important for teens and their parents to learn how to manage anger and other negative emotions through treatment, therapy, or other outlets.

Behavioral Effect of Military Deployment on Children

Child behavior changes during deployment are often intertwined with emotional changes. For example, research shows how behavioral problems can increase as much as 19% when a parent is deployed.2 

The following are some potential behavioral effects that children may experience during deployment:

  • Acting out: Children may show rebellious or defiant behavior as a way to express their frustration or anxiety about the deployment.1
  • Emotional and conduct problems: Teachers report that emotional and conduct problems are common among children of deployed parents, impacting school life and academic performance.3
  • Reintegration difficulties: Depending on how long a parent has been gone, it can be difficult for teens and children to reintegrate and even build a relationship with their deployed parent. This can cause behavioral issues within the family, such as aggression and resentment.4
  • Attachment issues: Children might also show negative attachment behaviors if deployment is frequent or long, or if the parent who remains at home faces significant stress.5 These attachment behaviors can look like clinginess, anxiety, and difficulties adjusting to changes in routine.

From impacting their time at school to making home seem like an unfamiliar place, the stress of deployment can cause children to act out in different ways. Parents should be understanding and patient with their children during this transition period, as it may take some time for everyone to adjust. Knowing how to parent an anxious child or reaching out to military family support services can make a big difference for teens and their families.

Psychological Challenges of Military Deployment on Children

Child mental health during deployment can be seriously affected. For example, research shows that teens with a deployed parent could experience more thoughts of suicide, lower quality of life, anxiety, and depression.6-8 For this reason, it’s clear that child mental health during deployment should be a priority due to the potential long-term effects on well-being. Because of the severity of child mental health during deployment, knowing when to seek professional help for suicidal thoughts in teens can be life-saving.

How Can You Support Your Child While Your Spouse Is Deployed?

As a spouse, dealing with deployment stress, routines, and open communication can be challenging – especially when trying to help your child cope with the absence of their deployed parent. Fortunately, there are some ways you can support your and your teen’s mental health during this difficult time, including the following techniques.

1. Make Life Predictable With Routines

Routine and structure for military kids can help reduce anxiety and stress caused by the unpredictability of military life.9 This is why the Department of Defense recommends setting a schedule and sticking to it as much as possible, especially during deployment. For example, you can make time for things like:

  • Family meal times
  • Bedtime
  • Homework or study time
  • Chores and household responsibilities

As well as reducing the uncertainty that can come with military life, routines also give kids a sense of control over their day-to-day activities. This sense of control can be comforting during times of change or stress.

2. Use Open Communication

The Department of Defense encourages military members to be open with their loved ones about their deployment.10 For instance, answering questions about your orders, job, or how long you’ll be gone.

Of course, one of the most important things is to have two-way communication and encourage your teen to share their feelings. This way, they’ll feel heard and understood when they choose to express their worries during deployment.

3. Speak to Your Spouse Whenever Possible

Remember that your deployed spouse is also going through a lot during this time, and they may also need your support. Some communication tips for military spouses include:

  • Setting aside dedicated time each day to talk with each other, despite time-zone differences
  • Being open and honest about your feelings and concerns
  • Keeping each other updated on important events or milestones back home
  • Sending care packages and letters to show love and support
  • Making use of technology such as video calls and messaging apps to stay connected

While these tips may seem simple, they can go a long way in strengthening communication and maintaining a strong relationship despite the challenges of military life.

4. Make Use of Military Support Services

The military offers different support services for families of active duty members and veterans. For instance, if your loved one is currently deployed, there are several ways you can access child counseling military families can rely on. Some resources to help child mental health during deployment include:
  • On-base or nearby hospitals for mental health emergencies
  • On-base family counseling services through organizations like the Fleet and Family Support Centers
  • Military family life counselors (MFLCs) who can provide non-medical counseling for children and families11
  • Chaplain services for spiritual support
In addition to these resources, military families can also take advantage of online support groups and forums specifically designed for spouses and children. The DoD also provides information on behavioral health centers, with a locator available online.12

5. Get Outside Support

If you prefer to seek outside support, there are many organizations and programs available to military families. For example, support groups for child mental health during deployment can help you build resilience strategies for military parents and their children.

Of course, you don’t need to rely on military-specific resources for parenting help. Many other organizations and community services, like group therapies, support groups, and counseling services outside of the military, are also available to support your family’s mental health.

6. Make Time for Self-Care

Aside from supporting your spouse’s and child’s emotional well-being, it’s also important to prioritize your own self-care as a military spouse. The demands and stresses of military life can be overwhelming at times, but taking care of yourself is crucial for both your own health and the health of your relationships.

Some ideas for self-care as a military spouse include:

  • Finding a support system within the military community, such as though groups or events,
  • Engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as reading, exercising, or spending time outdoors
  • Seeking professional help if needed, whether it be therapy or counseling services provided by the military
  • Communicating openly and honestly with your spouse about your needs and concerns
  • Taking breaks when needed, such as planning a weekend getaway or scheduling time for yourself during deployments
  • Practicing stress-management techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga

Overall, remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish – it’s necessary for maintaining a strong and healthy relationship. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed and prioritize self-care in your daily routine.

How Mission Prep Can Help Your Family

Mission Prep can help you develop a personalized plan that can meet the unique needs of your family. We understand that child mental health during deployment can be fragile, which is why we use evidence-based therapies like CBT, EMDR, and others to help children cope with the challenges they encounter.

Our trained team can also offer both outpatient and inpatient mental health care, integrating family therapy with individual therapy – meeting the needs of the entire family unit. 

Supporting a Child's Mental Health While Your Spouse Is Deployed

Reach Out to Mission Prep Today

Military life doesn’t have to be full of anxiety and stress. At Mission Prep, our goal is to give children and their families the tools they need to provide emotional care for children, no matter how rough deployment may be.

Our therapists are experienced in working with military families in California and Virginia and understand the unique challenges they face. If you’re looking for resources to help improve child mental health during deployment and beyond, contact our team today.

References

  1. National Center for PTSD. (2014). Children Coping with Deployment. Department of Veterans Affairs. https://www.ptsd.va.gov/family/support_child_deployment.asp
  2. Gorman, G. H., Eide, M., & Hisle-Gorman, E. (2010). Wartime Military Deployment and Increased Pediatric Mental and Behavioral Health Complaints. PEDIATRICS, 126(6), 1058–1066. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2009-2856
  3. Office of Research & Development. (2014, February 26). Children of deployed parents at increased risk for behavioral, psychological problems. Department of Veterans Affairs. https://www.research.va.gov/currents/winter2013-14/winter2013-14-28.cfm
  4. Miller, A. (2022, March 4). The Effects of Military Life on Child Development and Mental Health. ASYMCA National Headquarters. https://asymca.org/blog/effects-of-military-life-on-child-development/
  5. James, T., & Countryman, J. (2012). Psychiatric Effects of Military Deployment on Children and Families: The Use of Play Therapy for Assessment and Treatment. Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience, 9(2), 16. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3312898/
  6. Creech, S. K., Hadley, W., & Borsari, B. (2014). The impact of military deployment and reintegration on children and parenting: A systematic review. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 45(6), 452–464. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035055
  7. Cunitz, K., Dölitzsch, C., Kösters, M., Willmund, G.-D., Zimmermann, P., Bühler, A. H., Fegert, J. M., Ziegenhain, U., & Kölch, M. (2019). Parental military deployment as risk factor for children’s mental health: a meta-analytical review. Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Mental Health, 13(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s13034-019-0287-y
  8. Opie, J. E., Hameed, M., Vuong, A., Painter, F., Booth, A. T., Jiang, H., Dowling, R., Boh, J., McLean, N., & McIntosh, J. E. (2024). Children’s Social, Emotional, and Behavioral Outcomes in Military Families: A Rapid Review. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 33. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-024-02856-5
  9. Military OneSource. (n.d.). Create & maintain healthy family routines. https://www.militaryonesource.mil/parenting/new-parents/how-to-create-and-maintain-routines/
  10. Military OneSource. (n.d.). Military deployment support for teens. https://www.militaryonesource.mil/resources/millife-guides/military-deployment-support-for-teens/
  11. Military OneSource. (n.d.). About Military & Family Life Counseling. Department of Defense. https://www.militaryonesource.mil/benefits/military-family-life-counseling-program/
  12. Military OneSource. (n.d.). Mental health resources. Department of Defense. https://www.militaryonesource.mil/health-wellness/mental-health/resources/

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