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If you or someone you know is finding anger difficult to control or if feelings of anger are interfering with your ability to lead your day-to-day life, building awareness and learning healthy ways to manage emotions can help. To assist you in this process, this article discusses:
Imagine you’ve been carrying a heavy backpack for days; your shoulders ache and every footstep forward feels like a battle. You desperately want to lighten the load, but you don’t know how to remove the weight of the backpack by yourself. Carrying this backpack is what it feels like to be chronically angry; every time someone says or does something frustrating or irritating – intentionally or not – another item is added to the emotional weight. Eventually, a teen with chronic anger feels too emotionally burnt out to know how to ask for help, and instead, they may lash out at themselves and others.
For the reasons mentioned, chronic anger can seriously affect the lives of teenagers and those close to them. They may internalize their chronic anger or externalize it to others – potentially damaging their mental health and relationships.2
If you suspect that you or a loved one are dealing with chronic anger issues, one of the first steps is developing awareness of the signs. The signs of anger issues in teens include:
Teens with chronic anger may frequently burst into tears or suddenly start yelling without any clear indication as to why. Such emotional outbursts indicate that the teen has been suppressing anger or pushing down their true feelings for a long time.
During outbursts of anger, a teen with chronic anger may say things designed to emotionally hurt others. They may even lash out physically – traits that are characteristic of intermittent explosive disorder.
Aside from lashing out at home, a teen may experience relationship difficulties in all their social groups, including with teachers and friends. They may also suddenly seem unwelcome at places or in groups they previously had no problems with.
Teenagers with chronic anger may attempt to reduce their feelings by drinking alcohol or taking drugs. This may lead to further risky behaviors, such as driving under the influence or physically aggressive actions towards others.
Sulking, sarcastic comments, and the “silent treatment” are ways in which teens with chronic anger may let their anger out in indirect ways.
In addition to outward signs of chronic anger, a teen may also internalize their emotions. These internalized symptoms may be more difficult to detect, but they can look like self-harm behaviors such as hitting themselves or denying their basic needs such as by refusing to eat.
Due to feelings of shame and self-judgment around their feelings and actions, a teen with chronic anger may attempt to control themselves by socially withdrawing. They don’t know how to control their anger, so may see shutting down as the safest option.
It’s important to remember that anger in teenagers is normal; adolescence is a time of considerable emotional and physical change, which can influence how they think, feel, and act. Just because a teen displays one or two of the signs above from time to time doesn’t mean they are chronically angry. However, if they turn to these behaviors as their regular way of coping, support is available.
Traumatic Experiences: Teens who have experienced trauma may suppress how they really feel after the traumatic event(s). Instead of showing sadness, fear, or distress, they may find anger or aggression to be more protective and empowering.
If you suspect that you or someone you love is dealing with chronic anger that is affecting mental well-being, relationships, and schoolwork, support is available. Therapy with a trained mental health professional is an excellent step for understanding and managing adolescent anger and developing healthy ways of coping with it.
In the meantime, the following steps can help you foster emotional regulation in teens.
Often, teens with chronic anger struggle to put a name to how they are feeling. So the first step in learning how to cope with their emotions is to both identify and name them.
Encouraging a teen to recognize when they’re feeling angry is a good way to develop emotional awareness. They could keep an emotions log, where they note down what they’re feeling, when they feel it, and where in their body. Doing so can visually demonstrate to them that their anger has become a problem.
The next step is to encourage them to put a name to what they’re feeling. Naming their emotions can broaden their emotional intelligence as they may eventually be able to explain how they’re feeling beyond just “angry.” For instance, they might be able to identify “frustration,” “shame,” or “regret” – allowing more specific ways for them to manage their feelings.
Anger management techniques such as mindfulness, grounding, and deep breathing are excellent ways of shifting focus from how you’re feeling to your body. For example, breathing exercises can be used anytime, anywhere to help manage chronic anger.
The 4-7-8 breathing technique simply requires someone to breathe in for four seconds, hold it for seven seconds, and breathe out for eight. Helping a teen focus on their breathing in this way can calm their nervous system and refocus their attention.
Identifying and meeting unmet needs may be best done with the support of a professional, but it can help to broach the issue with a teen by prompting them to answer questions such as:
The answers to questions such as these can help teens recognize what they need to implement in their lives to feel more fulfilled and content.
Expressing thoughts out loud can help teenagers understand what’s bothering them and help them to feel more calm. Choosing someone that they trust to speak to, who’s not connected to their feelings of anger, provides a sense of social support and perspective on the situation. Friends, family, teachers, or even anger support groups are all good options.
Using angry energy in safe, healthy ways can help relieve pent-up frustrations. Some ways of doing this include physical exercise, hitting a pillow, writing down feelings on a piece of paper and tearing it up, or dancing to an energetic playlist. Journaling or doing something creative are also excellent methods of channeling angry emotions.
Although these techniques are effective teen anger management strategies, what works for one person may not work for another. Sometimes, a process of trial and error may help a teen figure out what works best for them.
Helping a teen identify and understand their emotions, learn anger management techniques, meet their needs, talk to someone, and channel energy are all great ways of managing adolescent anger. However, sometimes, despite your best efforts, they may still not be enough.
If you or someone you know is experiencing anger issues to the extent they’re affecting your quality of life, professional help and support is available. Therapy with a trained mental health professional can help a teen explore their anger and its potential causes, as well as develop healthy coping skills.
There is a wide range of professional support options available to teens with chronic anger issues and their families. Some of the most popular of these include:
These programs offer a 24-hour supportive and empathic environment for teens dealing with anger issues, providing therapy sessions, peer support, and engaging activities that focus on developing healthier behaviors.
CBT’s evidence-based approach can help teens manage the thoughts and behaviors around their anger – as well as the possible reasons behind it.
DBT was adapted from CBT for people who struggle with strong or difficult emotions and can help reduce anger by teaching practical ways of managing emotions and stress.
This form of treatment can help teenagers recognize bodily sensations that stem from their emotions, developing awareness of their anger and how to manage it in healthy ways.
This form of therapy helps teens to better understand their anger and focuses on relaxation techniques such as mindfulness and breathing to help them control anger responses. It also targets communication skills to help teens express their needs without resorting to outbursts.
This form of therapy focuses on helping people find ways to express their anger assertively and constructively. It may involve verbal expression exercises or role-playing responses to situations involving anger.
Experiencing anger as a teen is normal – it can work as an internal guiding system to help them figure out what motivates them, protects their beliefs and values, and can be a force of positive change. However, when anger becomes chronic – when it’s excessive and interferes with daily life – it may be a sign that professional guidance is necessary.
At Mission Prep, our treatment center offers individualized and effective care for teens struggling with anger issues. Our teams of trained professionals aim to understand each teenager’s needs to provide the best form of treatment, help them regulate their emotions, and express anger in healthier, more constructive ways.
Reaching out is the first step towards better health, and Mission Prep is here to help. Contact us today for support and guidance.
Find out if Mission Prep is right for you by reaching out to us and speaking with one of our admissions representatives.
