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Setting Healthy Boundaries When Supporting Someone in Treatment

Author:
Jemma Strain
Jemma Strain
B.S. Psychology
Editor:
Emma Loker
Emma Loker
B.S.
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Setting boundaries can be hard. You might want to be as involved as possible in your child’s life, not want to say “no,” or meet resistance from your child when you try to set limits. 

Boundaries are invisible lines that we draw around things such as emotions, behaviors, time, money, and so on. These invisible lines help us organize relationships with loved ones, as well as protect our own needs and well-being. 

If your child is receiving mental health treatment, you might not know how to create healthy boundaries while still providing them with the support they need. You likely want to create an environment for your child in which they feel the freedom to grow, but also where there are clear expectations and limits about how they behave. 

An important thing to remember is that boundaries are not about control. They’re about guidance and setting limits around acceptable and unacceptable actions – and they can improve your child’s mental health. 

If you’re unsure about how to set boundaries with your child and still make them feel supported, professional mental health advice is available to you. This page can also help by discussing…

  • Why boundaries matter in mental health care
  • How to set boundaries with someone in treatment
  • Balancing support with boundaries for a child in treatment
  • What to do when boundaries are crossed in treatment
  • How Mission Prep can help with managing relationships with boundaries during therapy
Setting Healthy Boundaries

Why Boundaries Matter in Mental Health Care

In a nutshell, boundaries are rules or guidelines that you establish around acceptable and unacceptable behaviors in your relationship with your child. It might not be easy to create these boundaries, but it’s important for both your and your child’s well-being to do so. 

Boundaries allow us to feel safe, respected, and healthy in our relationships – leading to lower stress and better mental health for all involved. Without boundaries, we may feel overwhelmed, taken advantage of, or unable to manage our time and well-being in healthy ways.1,2

Additionally, evidence shows that when parents have boundaries in their relationship with their child, the child’s mental health and behaviors improve. Therefore, if your child is receiving mental health treatment, establishing healthy boundaries could improve their healing process.1 

Aside from the benefits of setting boundaries in your relationship with your child, boundaries in your child’s treatment process are also important. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), boundaries in treatment may include areas of discussion and physical limits, and will be guided by ethical codes and standards. You, your child, and the therapist will likely set healthy boundaries early in the treatment process. For example, discussing the therapist’s personal life or physical touching will more than likely be off-limits. 

If your child is used to low levels of boundaries in your relationship with them, they may show some resistance to any changes in the dynamic. For this reason, it’s important to know how to set boundaries with them. Their treatment outcomes will likely benefit if you do. A mental health professional can guide you in this process, but the upcoming tips can also help.

How to Set Boundaries With Someone in Treatment

Setting boundaries means you can better meet your needs, protect your time and energy, and achieve a healthy life balance. Boundaries can also improve your relationship with your child, fueling their mental health recovery process. 

We can have many types of boundaries, including:3

  • Emotional 
  • Physical
  • Mental
  • Spiritual
  • Time
  • Material
  • And so on…

Emotional boundaries are especially important during mental health treatment, so our aim is to help you better understand how to create and maintain these limits with your child. If your child is used to certain parameters in your relationship, setting different boundaries may be a challenge. Yet with patience, practice, and empathy, you can set and maintain healthy boundaries that improve the well-being of both you and your child. Assertiveness is key – you don’t have to be aggressive, but you can be firm. 

Emotional Boundaries During Mental Health Treatment

We all have different emotional boundaries. For example, one person might have limits on how much they can listen to someone else’s problems, while another may have the emotional capacity to help others problem-solve and grow. However, your relationship with your child involves quite different boundaries than any other type of relationship – especially if they’re receiving mental health treatment. 

Think of your boundaries with your child as an invisible line; your child needs freedom to grow and learn, but if they cross this invisible line, you can clearly express your limits. If you’re typically a permissive parent, understanding and maintaining your boundaries might feel challenging. The following steps can help you do so in a way that protects your well-being and promotes your child’s mental health recovery. 

1. Think About What Your Boundaries Are

Identifying your boundaries requires thinking about the areas you need to protect. Does your child exhibit certain behaviors that make you feel annoyed, concerned, or violated? If so, consider which emotional boundary is being violated and how. For example, perhaps saying “yes” to constant requests is making you feel burnt out or emotionally drained. You could spend a couple of days noticing when you feel like this and how your child is acting when you do.4

2. Be Consistent

Consistency is essential when setting and maintaining boundaries. Inconsistency can be confusing for a child and potentially lead to disruptions in their treatment. For example, regularly saying “no” to allowing a teen to stay out with friends past 9 pm, but changing your mind if they become upset can cause them to question the importance of the boundary. 

Routine and consistency are essential to a teen’s well-being, especially if they’re receiving mental health treatment. Predictability can help them thrive when other areas of their life are in turmoil. In fact, research shows that consistency can lead to improved symptoms in conditions such as depression and behavioral problems in teens.5 

3. Communicate Openly

Open communication, in general, can lead to better mental health outcomes in teens. When expressing your boundaries, just saying a firm “yes” or “no” can lead to confusion and a lack of respect for limits. However, explaining the boundary and why it’s in place can foster understanding and appreciation in your child. For instance, rather than saying “No social media before bed,” try explaining that “Social media can cause you to feel anxious and affect your sleep. For you to feel rested tomorrow, it’s important to not use your phone right now.”6

4. Use Praise and Encouragement

A shift in boundaries can be difficult for a teen, especially if they’re experiencing mental health challenges. However, using positive reinforcement, such as praise and encouragement, can be highly motivating and make it more likely a teen will respect your new boundaries. For example, if your child follows your rules, you could say “Thank you for doing that. It shows a lot of consideration and effort.” One thing to keep in mind, however, is that a teen may prefer to be privately praised for their efforts instead of in front of their friends.7

5. Model Your Boundaries

Behavior is learned, so if you want your teen to respect your boundaries, it’s important to show them how. For instance, if you create limits around acceptable ways to manage emotions, it’s good to demonstrate that you also respect this boundary. In other words, if you tell a teenager that acting out aggressively is not an acceptable way to manage their feelings, you should also not lose control of your emotional reactions. This way, your child can internalize this boundary and figure out healthy ways of meeting their needs.8

6. Be Adaptable

While it’s important to be consistent, it’s equally as essential to adapt to changing circumstances or needs. There may be times when you need to be less rigid with your boundaries, especially if your child is receiving mental health treatment. For example, if you have a boundary around certain chores, you might relax this boundary if your child is going through a particularly tough time. This way, your child will understand you’re trying to help and guide them, rather than exert control.  

While setting and maintaining boundaries is important for your child’s mental health, you may also encounter challenges from time to time – especially if your child is getting mental health treatment. Finding the right balance between support and limits can be tricky to achieve, but it’s entirely possible to do so. If you’re worried about setting boundaries and still being supportive, a mental health professional can help you find your footing. 

How to Balance Support and Boundaries for a Child in Treatment

Setting boundaries while also demonstrating unwavering support can be difficult. Sometimes, a teen receiving mental health treatment may exhibit undesirable behaviors as a result of their symptoms. While you may be used to trying to “fix” their problems, you might be entering into a pattern of “unhealthy rescuing.” 

A teen with mental health conditions needs to develop skills for coping with their issues in healthy ways, so balancing boundaries with being supportive can help them heal and recover. 

You can balance support and boundaries for a child in treatment by following the steps we discussed previously – and consistently showing empathy. Empathy will allow you to understand and connect with your child, and also know when it’s time to reinforce or relax certain boundaries. What’s more, consistently showing empathy for what your child is going through can lead to a secure attachment in your bond with them. As a result, they may see an improvement in mental health symptoms and experience more positive outcomes for recovery.9

You can demonstrate empathy to your child by…10

  • Being curious about what they’re going through

  • Trying to put yourself in their shoes

  • Actively listening

  • Being open about your own experiences and feelings

  • Showing awareness of mental health stigma

  • Reminding them that they’re not to blame for what they’re experiencing

What to Do When Boundaries Are Crossed in Treatment

As discussed in the section on why boundaries matter in mental health care, it’s possible to encounter boundary crossing in treatment. The majority of mental health professionals are familiar with ethics and boundaries, but it’s good to know the steps to take if you or your child are feeling uncomfortable. 

If you believe that a therapist has crossed a boundary, whether it’s emotional, physical, time-related, and so on, it’s important to speak up. The majority of competent therapists will take any concerns seriously and take steps to resolve them. However, if you think that your child is at risk of harm in therapy, it’s best to put an end to treatment with this professional. There are many other options for mental health professionals who will respect your child’s boundaries and make them feel comfortable enough to share and heal. 

In cases where emotional or physical boundaries are clearly violated, it may be important to report this professional to their licensing board. 

Setting Healthy Boundaries When Supporting Someone in Treatment

How Mission Prep Can Help With Managing Relationships With Boundaries During Therapy

If your child is getting mental health treatment and you’re concerned about setting boundaries with them while still being supportive, Mission Prep can help. 

Mission Prep’s team of empathic professionals is very familiar with teen mental health conditions and working with the family dynamic. We help support teenagers through recovery, while also strengthening their support systems. Understanding the important role of parents, we facilitate involvement and engagement – including discussing any concerns about boundaries. 

Mission Prep offers residential and outpatient mental health treatment which can be tailored to suit a teenager’s unique needs and condition. We discuss the following therapy options with families to help them decide the best approach for their well-being:

Whether you have questions about treatment options or how to support your child in their recovery while still being supportive, our team is available 24/7 to answer any concerns. Contact us to learn more. 

References

  1. Aghamohammadi, S. (2024, March 13). How to set boundaries and why it matters for your mental health. UC Davis Health. https://health.ucdavis.edu/blog/cultivating-health/how-to-set-boundaries-and-why-it-matters-for-your-mental-health/2024/03
  2. Henderson, J. (2004). The challenge of relationship boundaries in mental health. Nursing Management, 11(6), 28–32.
  3. Chernata, T. (2024). Personal boundaries: Definition, role, and impact on mental health. Personality and Environmental Issues, 3(1), 24–30. https://doi.org/10.31652/2786-6033-2024-3(1)-24-30
  4. Psychology Today. (2023, July). 8 essential boundaries to have with others. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/invisible-bruises/202307/8-essential-boundaries-to-have-with-others
  5. Lippold, M. A., Davis, K. D., Lawson, K. M., & McHale, S. M. (2016). Day-to-day Consistency in Positive Parent–Child Interactions and Youth Well-Being. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 25(12), 3584. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-016-0502-x
  6. Wecht, S., Hendrixson, M., & Radović, A. (2024). A Mixed Method Investigation of Parent-Adolescent Communication About Mental Health. Journal of Adolescent Health, 75(6), 904-911. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2024.07.012
  7. Raising Children Network. (n.d.). Encouraging positive behaviour in teens. Raising Children Network. Retrieved March 16, 2025, from https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/behaviour/encouraging-good-behaviour/encouraging-positive-behaviour-teens
  8. Child Mind Institute. (n.d.). A parent’s guide to problem behavior. Child Mind Institute. Retrieved March 16, 2025, from https://childmind.org/guide/parents-guide-to-problem-behavior/
  9. Stern, J. A., Borelli, J. L., & Smiley, P. A. (2014). Assessing parental empathy: A role for empathy in child attachment. Attachment & Human Development, 17(1), 1–22. https://doi.org/10.1080/14616734.2014.969749
  10. WebMD. (n.d.). How to be more empathetic. WebMD. Retrieved March 16, 2025, from https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/how-to-be-more-empathetic

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