How Developmental Disorders Impact Attachment: Signs, Causes, and Support Strategies
Parenting a teen can feel like a tug of war; sometimes they reach out to you for support, but other times they pull away. This pattern can feel confusing, especially when you’re trying your best to help them.
For neurodivergent teens with ADHD, these responses could be signs of attachment struggles. When a child’s individual needs are misunderstood or unfulfilled, even with the best of intentions, it can affect how they trust and connect with people. Luckily, it’s never too late to strengthen the emotional bond you have with them.
A mental health professional can help you figure out how to meet the needs of a teen with neurodivergence. This article can also work as a helpful guide, covering:
- How developmental disorders can affect attachment, including ADHD and ASD
- Common signs of attachment issues in neurodivergent adolescents
- Strategies for supporting your teen at home
- Treatment options
- How to find professional support
Understanding Developmental Disorders and Attachment Trauma
As a parent, you want your child to feel safe and loved. But sometimes, building that sense of security and emotional connection can feel complicated when neurodivergence enters the arena. This is where a concept called “attachment” comes in. The following section breaks down what attachment is and how it can affect a teen’s well-being.
What Is Attachment?
Attachments are the emotional bonds formed in very early childhood between an infant and their parent or caregiver. When a baby cries out for reassurance or comfort, the way their caregiver responds sets the tone for the attachment style.1
It is believed that these early attachments form a blueprint for all of our future emotional connections, as well as how we manage our moods. For instance, if a child’s needs are fulfilled and they feel supported, a secure attachment forms. This means they are likely to be trusting of others, feel safe, and be able to regulate their emotions. However, if an infant perceives that their cues for support aren’t met, they may develop an insecure attachment. As a result, they may have problems dealing with stress and emotions, find themselves in unhealthy relationships, and lack trust in others and the world in general. For a deeper dive into attachment, check out our page “Attachment Styles in Teenagers.”
The Impact of Developmental Disorders on Creating Attachments
Having developmental disorders, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and autism spectrum disorder (ASD), can affect the attachments a child makes. This often comes down to how they see and interact with the world around them. When 17% of children aged 3-17 years have been diagnosed with a developmental disability in the U.S. (according to the CDC), this isn’t something that can be ignored.2
Being neurodivergent itself doesn’t disrupt attachments. However, emotional bonds may become strained or ruptured due to misunderstood behaviors, unique communication styles, sensory challenges, trauma, or a mismatch in caregiving. We examine these factors in more detail over the next few sections.
ADHD and Attachment Disorder Connection
ADHD’s Effects on Attachment
If children with ADHD are punished for certain behaviors they cannot control, they may feel rejected. They may also be left without the emotional support they need and reach out for because their cues for attention don’t manifest in the typical way. As a result of their needs being unmet, they may develop an insecure attachment. In fact, research shows us that there is a strong link between ADHD and insecure attachment.6Autism and Insecure Attachment in Teens
According to the CDC, roughly one in every thirty-one children is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).2 This neurodevelopmental condition can cause significant challenges when it comes to social tasks like communicating and interacting with others. Also, these traits are often accompanied by restricted or repetitive behaviors or interests. Autism exists on a spectrum, meaning some people may be more severely affected, and others to a lesser degree.7
Additionally, many people with autism find the rules and boundaries of social behavior difficult to understand. They may also become overstimulated by their senses, resulting in a “meltdown.”8 Because of these issues, they may experience challenges making connections with others or behaving in a socially acceptable way.
ASD’s Effects on Attachment
A large number of children with ASD form healthy and secure attachments with caregivers.9 However, the social challenges experienced when living with autism can negatively impact the ability to connect with others and form attachments. This becomes more apparent if a child also struggles to communicate their needs. Equally, a child having a “meltdown” due to sensory overload may feel they are being punished for something completely outside of their control. Such issues can contribute to the formation of an insecure attachment pattern.
Recognizing Signs of Attachment Difficulties in Neurodivergent Adolescents
If your teenager has ADHD or ASD and you’re wondering how to spot the signs of an attachment issue, the following information can help. While there are three separate insecure attachment styles, there are some more general signs of attachment issues in adolescents. These include:
- Emotional withdrawal or “shutting down”
- Outbursts of anger or aggression
- Difficulties forming and keeping friendships or relationships
- Controlling behavior
- Appearing “clingy”
- Fearing rejection or abandonment
- Trouble keeping or understanding boundaries
- Risk-taking behaviors
- Trust issues
If these signs feel familiar, your teen may be grappling with an insecure attachment style. It’s important to know that although attachment styles are formed in early childhood, they aren’t etched in stone – you can learn to change your attachment at any stage of life. With the right support at home and professional help, such as therapy, teens can start on the road to building more secure, trusting relationships.
Supporting Your Teen at Home
When it comes to supporting your teen, it’s important to remember that no two people are the same. With this in mind, tailor the support you give them, taking into account their specific needs and preferences.
It can be difficult to know where to start when it comes to supporting a teen with attachment issues. Even more so if you didn’t have a consistent caregiver or secure bonds in your own childhood. However, it is possible to help your teen develop healthier attachments. This process often begins with creating new experiences of safety, security, understanding, and consistency. The following steps can help.
Increase Understanding:
Invest your time in understanding more about your child’s neurodivergent differences. You may discover more about how their unique experience of being in the world affects their emotions and relationships with others.
Build a Safe Base:
Making home a safe and secure place can help minimize stress, which is especially useful for ADHD and anxiety in adolescents. This may include taking into account any sensory sensitivities that may trigger overwhelm in your teen.
Be Consistent:
Consistency and stability help foster feelings of security and safety. Introducing routines can be especially useful when parenting teens with ASD and attachment issues if your child responds positively to structure and certainty.
Encourage Open Communication:
Use your understanding of how your teenager prefers to communicate to pave the way to more open and honest conversations. Let them know that it is okay for them to talk to you about anything, and model this behavior so they can see what it looks like. For instance, share how you feel with them.
Promote Healthy Coping Strategies:
If your teen finds it difficult to cope with intense emotions, you can help them find safe ways to deal with them. Use what you know about them: Do certain sensory objects bring a calming response? Does being outside or being active help? Does getting away from distractions and having noise-cancelling headphones bring a relaxing reaction? Help them discover their own ways to self-regulate.
Therapy for ADHD, ASD, and Attachment Repair
Treating attachment issues in neurodivergent teens often requires a combination of approaches that take into account both their attachment style and their neurodiversity. As we’ve seen, developmental disorders, such as ADHD and ASD, can impact a person’s ability to regulate their emotions and form connections with others. These are areas that cross over with attachment challenges, so it’s important to understand the interaction between the two.
Whether you are looking for autism-related attachment disruption treatment or ADHD emotional regulation therapy, we have listed some of the most effective treatment options for attachment issues below.
Attachment-Based Family Therapy (ABFT)
ABFT is an evidence-based, structured approach to family counselling. Based on attachment theory, it lays the foundations for rebuilding trust, communication, and connection within the family unit.10 Sessions are designed to heal early childhood attachment issues, allowing teens to move toward healthier relationships in the future.
Attachment-Based Individual Therapy
This form of one-to-one therapy introduces attachment-based interventions for autism and ADHD. It allows teens to build a secure bond with the therapist over time, creating a safe space for them to explore their attachment patterns. Eventually, teens can learn how to trust, express themselves, and respond to others in healthy ways.11
Trauma-Focused Therapy
Trauma-focused therapy can be effective for treating attachment problems in teens with a history of childhood trauma.12 This approach allows teens to process their trauma and move toward a future with healthier communication and connections.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT is a structured therapy that can help people recognize and understand patterns in their thoughts and behaviors. By recognizing these patterns, teens can then challenge them, reframe their thoughts in more positive ways, and learn new coping skills.
Experiential or Creative Therapies
Sometimes, teens don’t always have the words to express what they feel. In these cases, experiential therapies such as art or equine therapy can be helpful, allowing your child to process their emotions in a more accessible way.13
Residential Programs for ADHD Teens
Residential programs can be a useful option if your teenager needs more intensive care. Residential mental health therapy for ADHD teens provides a safe, structured, and supportive environment with round-the-clock care.
At Mission Prep, our residential programs allow your teen to process their emotions and focus on recovery without any distractions. A custom-made treatment plan including therapy, education, and experiential opportunities allows them to learn about themselves and their condition, as well as develop healthy coping skills. This focused and intensive approach prepares teenagers for building healthier connections and regulating their emotions, improving their overall long-term well-being.
Find Attachment Support for Neurodivergent Teens With Mission Prep
The teenage years can be challenging. However, they can be even more complex when you have a developmental difference, such as ADHD or autism. If you’re concerned about your teen’s emotional well-being or attachment patterns, remember that support is available.
With the right tools, guidance, and help, your teen can feel truly safe, seen, and supported. Here at Mission Prep, we see your teen for the unique person they are. We don’t apply a one-size-fits-all approach; we create a completely customized treatment plan based on your teen’s goals. Whether you’re looking for family support, individual therapy, or a more intensive care approach, we’re here to help you make the right choice.
If you’re ready to make impactful and lasting changes, reach out to us today for a free, confidential consultation. We’ll walk you through the treatment options available to help your teen live a happier, healthier life.
References
- McGarvie, S., PhD. (2025, March 27). Attachment Theory, Bowlby’s Stages & Attachment Styles. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/attachment-theory/
- CDC. (2025, May 27). Data and statistics on autism spectrum disorder. https://www.cdc.gov/autism/data-research/index.html
- FastStats. (n.d.). Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Retrieved on August 8, 2025, from https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/adhd.htm
- Kissgen, R., & Franke, S. (2016). An attachment research perspective on ADHD. Neuropsychiatrie, 30(2), 63–68. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40211-016-0182-1
- Angel, T. (2025, July 11). Everything you need to know about ADHD. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd
- Storebø, O. J., Rasmussen, P. D., & Simonsen, E. (2013). Association between insecure attachment and ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 20(2), 187–196. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054713501079
- Hodis, B., Mughal, S., & Saadabadi, A. (2025, January 17). Autism spectrum Disorder. StatPearls – NCBI Bookshelf. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK525976/
- Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia Research Institute. (2020, August 13.). Misinterpreted behaviors. https://www.research.chop.edu/car-autism-roadmap/misinterpreted-behaviors
- Teague, S. J., Gray, K. M., Tonge, B. J., & Newman, L. K. (2016). Attachment in children with autism spectrum disorder: A systematic review. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 35, 35–50. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rasd.2016.12.002
- Ewing, E. S. K., Diamond, G., & Levy, S. (2015). Attachment-based family therapy for depressed and suicidal adolescents: theory, clinical model and empirical support. Attachment & Human Development, 17(2), 136–156. https://doi.org/10.1080/14616734.2015.1006384
- Kobak, R., Zajac, K., Herres, J., & Krauthamer Ewing, E. S. (2015). Attachment-based treatments for adolescents: The secure cycle as a framework for assessment, treatment and evaluation. Attachment & Human Development, 17(2), 220–239. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4872705/
- Lahousen, T., Unterrainer, H. F., & Kapfhammer, H. (2019). Psychobiology of Attachment and Trauma—Some general remarks from a clinical perspective. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 10. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00914
- Haeyen, S., & Hinz, L. (2020). The first 15 min in art therapy: Painting a picture from the past. The Arts in Psychotherapy, 71, 101718. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0197455620300915
