Pet Grief: How the Loss of a Pet Can Impact a Teen and Ways to Cope

The bond between a child and their pet can significantly impact a child’s psychological well-being. Studies have shown that pets, particularly dogs and cats, can fulfill children’s attachment needs. Because many children consider pets a part of their family, pets can help fill needs for acceptance, love, recognition, and appreciation. Unfortunately, however, many children who grow up with a childhood pet risk losing a pet during adolescence.^1-3

Coping with pet loss can be challenging for teens, and the process can take a toll on their mental health. This article explores pet grief in teens, its emotional impact, and adaptive methods for coping with pet loss. 

The Emotional Impact of Losing a Pet

The loss of a pet can trigger an adolescent grief process. There are different theories related to the process of grief in teens, and psychologists have suggested that grieving human bereavement differs from pet bereavement.

Literature on pet bereavement has suggested that young people may experience emotional reactions such as guilt, anger, denial, and depression after losing a pet.⁴ 

One by Marc A. Rosenberg suggests that the four stages are denial, anger, acceptance, and guilt. While the processes differ slightly, a common factor is guilt. Many children who lose a pet will experience guilt, especially if the pet needed to be euthanized, highlighting the complex relationship between guilt and loss of a pet.⁵ 

When we look at symptoms of psychopathology that come up after losing a pet, a main focus is pathological grief. While some children and teens will go through a ‘normal’ grieving process, others experience pathological grief. Pathological grief can include grieving for an excessive amount of time, delaying the grieving process, exaggerated grief responses, and masked grief responses. Research shows that losing a pet can increase psychopathology symptoms in children compared to those who have not experienced pet loss.⁶ 

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Anxiety and Depression After Pet Loss

There is a profound emotional impact of losing a pet, specifically during adolescence. For teens who have difficulty grieving the loss of their pet in a healthy way, there may be an increased risk of developing depression and anxiety. A common issue for children is the inability to fully understand death. When this happens, it can lead to general distress, regression, separation anxiety, somatizations, and sleep disorders. On the other hand, for teens with a clear understanding of death and its implications, sadness, depression, and anxiety are common.⁷

In addition, there are other effects linked to mental health and pet loss, including symptoms of withdrawal and loneliness, concentration problems, difficulties in school, and even risky behaviors. For mature adolescents, teen grief after pet death can also lead to existential questioning about death or abstract reasoning. They may wonder why they should trust others when things can happen so unexpectedly, ask questions about who they are as a person without their beloved pet, or even default to emotional numbing as a way of making sense of everything.⁷ Understanding how the loss of a pet affects teens can help parents and caregivers provide appropriate support during this difficult time.

Effective Ways Teens Can Cope With Pet Grief

Adolescents cope with grief differently. As explained above, while there are several models for “normal grief”, they tend to encompass similar attributes: guilt, anger, and, hopefully, acceptance. 

Continuing Bonds

One way that children intuitively cope with pet loss is through continuing bonds. The main idea behind continuing bonds (CB) is that even after the physical death of a pet, children can maintain the emotional connection. Some of the tactics used to remain emotionally connected to a deceased pet are recalling and sharing important memories and referring to photos of the pet.⁸

Depending on the strategy used, children reported different levels of comfort. For example, when relying on important memories, lessons learned, and important places, many children felt an increased sense of comfort. However, intrusive thoughts related to the death of a pet consistently led to teens feeling worse. In addition, keeping some of their pet belongings, such as a collar or toy, brought up mixed feelings in many teens.⁸

Overall, CB may support teen mental health during the grieving process, but it depends on the specific methods used. Still, encouraging your child to talk about positive memories and lessons learned from their pet may be beneficial to their grieving process.⁸

Social Support 

Sometimes, when a teen loses a pet, they isolate themselves from others. Teen social withdrawal may cause your child to separate from important relationships and prolong the grieving process. However, studies show that seeking social support is one of the ways teens can cope with pet grief. Family, friends, and even professional counselors may serve as important social supports for teens grieving the loss of a pet. Additionally, getting support in the form of a card or phone call from your local veterinarian may help aid in the bereavement process.⁹ 

For teens who have a difficult time with face-to-face interactions after losing their pet, certain pet loss support hotlines can offer social support in a less frightening or overwhelming context.⁹ 

Professional Counseling for Pet Loss

Certain face-to-face counseling sessions are designed specifically for pet bereavement. Pet Bereavement Counselling (PBC) has been established in private practice to provide teen emotional support after losing a pet. There are several ways that PBC helps with teen grief after pet death, including providing a setting where your child can accept that losing a pet is hard, even if society may feel that it isn’t a serious event.¹⁰ 

Another thing that PBC can offer is the acknowledgment that loss can be more nuanced than just the death of a pet. Many difficult emotions come up when grieving the loss of a pet, such as feelings of loneliness and a lack of purpose without their pet. Finding a counselor with experience in pet bereavement, who may be seen as an expert in the area, can provide unique coping strategies for grieving teens.¹⁰

Coping with the loss of a pet during adolescence requires social and emotional support. Relying on family, friends, and mental health professionals during this difficult time can help teens work through a healthy grieving process.

Common Types of Therapy for Teen Grief

In some cases, children and teens might experience prolonged grief after the loss of a pet. This is one symptom of pathological grief that may require more intensive mental health treatment to address. There are several types of therapy for teen grief, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT).^11,12

CBT for Teen Grief

When using CBT for grief, treatment is based on three processes that maintain grief in teens: a lack of understanding of the loss, negative thinking about oneself, and avoidance of situations that remind the child of the loss. To address these concerns, CBT for grief focuses on allowing teens to talk about the loss of their pet, identifying maladaptive coping mechanisms, cognitive restructuring, exposure, and moving forward.¹¹

ACT for Helping Teens Cope With Pet Loss

ACT is a form of therapy that encourages psychological flexibility, or the ability to stay in the present, be open to thoughts and

feelings, and live in alignment with core values. When using ACT for grief, therapists will teach specific tools to enhance psychological flexibility, such as cognitive defusion and acceptance. Engaging in a multi-session, structured ACT program can be beneficial for a teen mourning a pet by providing a safe place to process their feelings and learn new tools to cope.¹²

Helping teens cope with pet loss often means recognizing when professional support is needed and being willing to seek it. If you think your child may need extra support, there are specialist providers who can help.

Crucially, if a teen experiences intense or worsening symptoms after losing a pet, such as prolonged depression, extreme withdrawal, or thoughts of self-harm, parents and caregivers should seek professional mental health support immediately. 

Mission Prep: Supporting Teens Through Pet Loss

At Mission Prep, we understand how the loss of a pet affects teens physically, mentally, and emotionally. Our mental health treatment programs include outpatient therapy, as well as more structured intensive outpatient programs to address complex grief in teens. If you are interested in getting more information about Mission Prep programs that can benefit your child, call us today. A trusted member of our team is here to answer any questions you have about teen mental health treatment. 

References

1. Groenewoud, D., Enders-Slegers, M. J., Leontjevas, R., Van Dijke, A., de Winkel, T., & Hediger, K. (2023). Children’s bond with companion animals and associations with psychosocial health: A systematic review. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, 1120000. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1120000 
2. Redmalm, D. (2015). Pet grief: When is non-human life grievable? The Sociological Review, 63(1), 19–35. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-954X.12226 
3. Crawford, K. M., Zhu, Y., Davis, K. A., Ernst, S., Jacobsson, K., Nishimi, K., & Dunn, E. C. (2021). The mental health effects of pet death during childhood: Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 30(10), 1547–1558. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-020-01594-5 
4. Quackenbush, J. E., & Graveline, D. (1985). When your pet dies: How to cope with your feelings. Simon & Schuster.
5. Rosenberg, M. A. (1983). Clinical aspects of grief associated with loss of a pet: A veterinarian’s view. In W. J. Kay & A. H. Kutscher (Eds.), Pet loss and human bereavement. Iowa State University Press.
6. Podrazik, D., Shackford, S., Becker, L., & Heckert, T. (2000). The death of a pet: Implications for loss and bereavement across the lifespan. Journal of Personal & Interpersonal Loss, 5(4), 361–395. https://doi.org/10.1080/10811440008407852 
7. Revet, A., Bui, E., Benvegnu, G., Suc, A., Mesquida, L., & Raynaud, J. P. (2020). Bereavement and reactions of grief among children and adolescents: Present data and perspectives. L’Encéphale, 46(5), 356–363. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.encep.2020.05.007 
8. Schmidt, M., Naylor, P. E., Cohen, D., Gomez, R., Moses Jr, J. A., Rappoport, M., & Packman, W. (2020). Pet loss and continuing bonds in children and adolescents. Death Studies. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2018.1541942 
9. Jessica, P. R. C., Chang, S. W., Lee, M. B., & Wu, C. Y. (2022). Grief and coping of the owner toward pet loss. Journal of Suicidology, 17(4), 319–324. https://doi.org/10.30126/JoS.202212_17(4).0011 
10. Leonhardt-Parr, E., & Rumble, B. (2024). Coping with animal companion loss: A thematic analysis of pet bereavement counselling. OMEGA-Journal of Death and Dying, 89(1), 362–378. https://doi.org/10.1177/00302228211073217 
11. Boelen, P. A., Lenferink, L. I., & Spuij, M. (2021). CBT for prolonged grief in children and adolescents: A randomized clinical trial. American Journal of Psychiatry, 178(4), 294–304. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2020.20050548 
12. Pamplona, M. P. S., & Bayot, A. M. S. (n.d.). Using acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) in grief program for students (GPS). MIJRD. https://www.mijrd.com/

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