Attachment Schema Explained: How Early Relationships Can Affect Teen Core Beliefs
Have you ever wondered why your teen sometimes acts the way they do? Perhaps shutting down, pushing people away, or trying your limits?
If patterns such as these are the “go to” rather than occasional occurrences, they may be linked to a teen’s core beliefs about themselves and how the world works. These beliefs are typically formed in early childhood and are shaped by how safe, seen, and supported we feel.
Schema theory and attachment research can give insight into how early relationships can influence a teen’s core beliefs, allowing us insight into the most suitable healing options for their needs.
If you’re concerned about your child’s patterns of behavior in relationships, professional mental health advice may be the most appropriate route to healing. Therapy can be invaluable in helping teens to unpick unhelpful beliefs that no longer serve them.
This guide can also help you better understand these patterns by exploring:
- What attachment theory is and how it affects teens’ behaviors in relationships
- What schema theory is and how it can be used to understand patterns of behavior
- How schemas shape attachment patterns
- What schema modes are
- Therapeutic approaches for healing maladaptive core beliefs
- Finding professional support for maladaptive schemas and insecure attachment
What Is Attachment Theory?
Attachments are the way a person learns to feel safe, connected, and worthy of love. And they start to form the moment we’re born. Therefore, attachment theory can be a powerful tool for understanding a teenager’s emotional world.
The following sections cover the background of attachment theory and how it can be used to better understand a teenager’s actions in relationships.
Attachment Theory Background
Attachment theory was originally developed by psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby in the 1950s. He theorised that when a baby’s needs are consistently met by their caregiver with love, accuracy, and reassurance, they form a secure attachment. This relationship with their caregiver teaches them how to manage their emotions, that others can be trusted, and that they themselves are worthy of love and care.1
However, if the care a child receives is perceived to be inconsistent, neglectful, or even frightening, an infant may instead develop an insecure attachment style.
There are three insecure attachment patterns: anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. These came from research and an experiment called the “Strange Situation”, carried out by Mary Ainsworth and her colleagues.2 Each attachment style has its own unique pattern of relating to others, as well as how we perceive ourselves.
It’s good to understand that attachment comes down to the child’s perceptions of needs being met. Therefore, even despite the best intentions, if caregivers aren’t accurately attuned to and synchronized with their child, the child could develop insecure attachment.
Attachment patterns are also subconscious; therefore, while they may have ensured their protection as a child, as a teen, they may become a maladaptive way to relate to the world.
Attachment Styles in Teenagers
The attachments developed during the first few years of a child’s life can continue to affect someone all the way through development. This means that, unless experiences that challenge and replace negative core beliefs are encountered, insecure attachments could stem into adolescence and adulthood.
However, in teenagers, attachment styles may present differently from how they do in children. For example, a teenager with an anxious attachment style may fear being abandoned or rejected by their friends, leading them to constantly seek reassurance.
On the other hand, a teen with an avoidant style might come across as emotionally distant or shut down from others to protect themselves from harm. Additionally, those with a disorganized attachment may seem to swing between the other two styles: seeking reassurance one moment and pushing others away the next.
Such behavior patterns can seem confusing, both to teens and their parents. However, when examined through the lens of attachment theory, their actions may make more sense. Ultimately, they are signs of unfulfilled emotional needs and coping strategies constructed many years ago.
Understanding your teen’s attachment style isn’t about placing blame – it’s about gaining valuable insights into why your teen behaves the way they do. These insights may allow you to reframe difficult behaviour and create the emotional connections and healthy relationships they require to heal and grow.
What Is Schema Theory?
Schema theory, developed by psychologist Jeffrey Young, helps us further understand what our early childhood experiences teach us about ourselves and the world.3 To put it simply, schemas are the unconscious beliefs we develop early in life to help us make sense of our experiences. These core beliefs may have formed as coping mechanisms in childhood in response to negative or traumatic events. They’re known as “early maladaptive schemas.”
For instance, if an infant feels ignored, they may form the schema I’m not important. This may feel safer to a child than believing that their parents don’t want to or cannot meet their needs: something they have no control over.
Instead, by believing they form the belief that they themselves aren’t important. This helps explain a caregiver’s lack of attunement, helping to keep the child’s relationship with them intact. In other words, it can lower the child’s expectations, reducing the risk of repeated emotional pain.
These beliefs, or early maladaptive schemas, become part of an internal script that influences how someone interprets future experiences and relationships, as well as how they see themselves.
Schemas During Adolescence
Adolescence can bring new challenges for teens to face. They may need to navigate new friendships, academic pressure, independence, and romance, all while discovering their own identity.
Throughout this developmental period, the schemas created in childhood may come out through a teen’s thoughts, feelings, and actions. For example, teenagers who believe they are not “good enough” may be prone to giving up when confronted with challenges. They may become highly self-critical or think there is no point in trying to succeed.
Alternatively, teens with the same core belief may lash out at others, isolate themselves, or seek reassurance from others to counteract the feeling of not being good enough. All of these reactions are ways that a teen may try to protect themself from a deep-rooted fear of failure.
However, it’s good to be aware that there are 18 different early maladaptive schemas, each with its own formative roots and manifestations. Therefore, how each one affects a teen in adolescence can vary considerably.
How Attachment Shapes Schema Development
Now that we’ve covered both attachment theory and schema theory, it’s good to have an understanding of how they connect. In a nutshell, an infant’s attachment style can shape the schemas that they form. As discussed, early interactions with caregivers provide the child with a blueprint for how they see themselves and others. This template is known as the “internal working model.”
A secure attachment can result in positive schemas about themselves and others, such as I am lovable or I can trust others. Therefore, they have a balanced internal working model or blueprint of relationships and themselves.
However, insecure attachments can create negative schemas, such as Other people are unreliable or I am unimportant. You may think of these schemas like a framework of expectations and core beliefs built upon attachment experiences.
The following sections take a closer look at how insecure attachment leads to maladaptive schemas.
How Insecure Attachment Leads to Maladaptive Schemas
To recap, insecure attachment develops when an infant’s emotional needs are inconsistently met by their primary caregivers. As a result, these unfulfilled needs can lead to the development of early maladaptive schemas (EMS) – coping strategies created during early childhood in response to negative experiences.
In total, 18 EMS have been defined. Below, we take a look at how different attachment styles relate to certain EMS.3,4
Insecure Attachment Styles and Respective Schemas
Each insecure attachment style is linked to specific EMS. Some of the specific schemas associated with the three unique attachment styles are detailed below.5-7
Anxious Attachment:
Linked with a fear of abandonment and a need for reassurance
- Core belief examples: People will leave me, I am not good enough, and I cannot rely on others to support me
- Example teen behaviors: “clinginess”, anxiety, constant reassurance seeking
- Examples of early maladaptive schemas: Self-sacrifice, emotional deprivation, and abandonment
Avoidant Attachment:
Tendency for over-reliance due to needs not being met
- Core belief examples: My emotional needs don’t matter, Others will harm me, I don’t fit in, and Something is wrong with me
- Example teen behaviors: Being a “lone wolf”, withdrawing from others, and avoiding intimacy
- Examples of early maladaptive schemas: Vulnerability to harm, social isolation, and emotional inhibition
Disorganized Attachment:
Often results from traumatic experiences
- Core belief examples: Others will hurt me, I’m not sure who I am, and People who make mistakes should be punished
- Example teen behaviors: Chaotic actions, emotional outbursts, avoiding emotional closeness, and “push-and-pull” dynamics
- Examples of early maladaptive schemas: Vulnerability to harm, disconnection/rejection, and self-sacrifice
Schema Modes in Adolescent Attachment Disorder
Schema modes are emotional states that take over when a person’s schemas are triggered. You could consider them to be coping mechanisms that kick in when core beliefs are set off.
For example, you might recognize when your teenager suddenly shifts from being calm to suddenly overwhelmed or acting out of character within the space of a few seconds. This could be a schema mode being activated.
The following information examines the four schema modes in more detail.
The Four Schema Modes
Generally speaking, there are four main schema modes: child, parent, coping, and healthy adult mode. Each one reflects different messages or feelings that were previously experienced. Therefore, specific circumstances could trigger each mode and a certain type of reaction. For example:4
- Child Mode: This mode can represent feelings of sadness, anger, shame, and vulnerability stemming from unmet emotional needs.
- Maladaptive Parent Mode: Parent modes reflect internalized, self-destructive messages and self-criticism. For example, it may appear as someone sounding like a critical parent or having an inner critic.
- Maladaptive Coping Mode: This mode is used to manage the distress from a vulnerable child mode. For instance, it may present as people-pleasing behaviour to avoid rejection, or emotionally withdrawing from people to avoid pain.
- Healthy Adult Mode: Adult mode integrates healthy thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, leading to effective and healthy self-regulation.
For teens with attachment difficulties, schema modes can feel intense. Their emotional reactions may seem extreme to others, but underneath the behavior may be a younger emotional part of themselves trying to stay safe and protected. Understanding the different modes can help parents recognize these moments of emotional overwhelm for what they are: a sign of emotional distress rather than defiance.
Therapy can help teens understand and work with their modes. With support from a therapist, a person can begin breaking maladaptive belief systems in teens and learn to respond from a healthier part of themselves.
Mental Health Therapy Using Schema Approach
If your teen is struggling with their mental health, you may be unsure what you can do as a parent to help them. By reading this page, you are already doing something powerful – gaining an understanding of what lies beneath your teens’ behaviors.
The schemas that teens carry can be changed for the better with the right therapeutic support. There are many therapy options, ranging from CBT and schema therapy for teens to family therapy. The following sections detail the main therapeutic approaches used when treating negative schemas in teens.
Schema Therapy Programs for Attachment Repair
Schema therapy integrates elements from various therapeutic approaches to explore the thoughts and emotions outside of a teen’s awareness. The goal of schema therapy is to treat long-standing, dysfunctional behavioral patterns and coping mechanisms. In sessions, emphasis is placed on the therapist-patient relationship, with the therapist aiming to meet the teen’s emotional needs and foster positive change.8
DBT vs Schema Therapy in Attachment Healing
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is sometimes considered instead of schema therapy when healing attachment wounds. It tends to be a short-term therapy, focusing on how teens handle their emotions and tolerate distress, helping them learn coping strategies and improve their communication skills.9,10 Compared to schema therapy, DBT does not necessarily explore the past or where the core beliefs come from.
Family Therapy and Schema Modification
Family counseling, such as attachment-based family therapy, can pave the way to rebuilding healthy, secure connections as an entire family. Therapists may use attachment-based schema intervention strategies with the family unit and address past events and relationships to improve trust, communication, and connections, as well as instill a sense of security.11
Make Healing Possible With Mission Prep
If your teen seems to be stuck in painful patterns of connecting with others, it’s both possible and achievable to help them rewrite their core beliefs. Although you may blame yourself for their experiences, insecure attachment and maladaptive schemas can still arise from parenting with the best intentions.
The team at Mission Prep are experts in supporting teens and families through mental health difficulties, including attachment issues and relationship challenges. Schema therapy, attachment-based approaches, and family support can help your teen build healthier core beliefs and stronger emotional foundations.
If you’re ready to explore how we can support your teen and your family, we’re here to help. Reach out to us today for a compassionate, personalized consultation, and let us help you on your journey of recovery.
References
- McGarvie, S., PhD. (2025, March 27). Attachment Theory, Bowlby’s Stages & Attachment Styles. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/attachment-theory/
- Ainsworth, M. D. S., & Bell, S. M. (1970). Attachment, exploration, and separation: Illustrated by the behavior of one-year-olds in a strange situation. Child Development, 41(1), 49–67. https://doi.org/10.2307/1127388
- MentalHealth.com. (2025, July 31). Expanding CBT with Schema Theory. https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/cognitive-behavioral-schema-theory
- Bricker, D. C., & Young, J. E. (1993). A client’s guide to schema-focused cognitive therapy. Cognitive Therapy Center of New York.
- Karveli, S., Karademas, E., Poulakaki, F., Antonopoulou, Z., Arkadopoulos, N., & Markopoulos, C. (2025). The mediating role of early maladaptive schemas in the relationship between attachment styles and adjustment to Early‐Stage breast Cancer. Psycho-Oncology, 34(6). https://doi.org/10.1002/pon.70196
- Ginalska, K., & Cichopek, A. (2025). Attachment styles, maladaptive cognitive schemas, and relationship satisfaction: A multilevel analysis of romantic relationships. Personality and Individual Differences, 247, 113380. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2025.113380
- Reeves, C. (2023, September 14). The 18 Schemas Of Jeffrey Young’s Schema Therapy Contextualized With Attachment Theory. Attachment Repair. https://attachmentrepair.com/articles/18-schemas-attachment-theory/
- Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Weishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema therapy: A practitioner’s guide. The Guilford Press.
- Gupta, A., Kashyap, A., & Sidana, A. (2019). Dialectical Behavior Therapy in Emotion Dysregulation – Report of two cases. Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine, 41(6), 578–581. https://doi.org/10.4103/ijpsym.ijpsym_352_19
- Cleveland Clinic. (2025, August 4). Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22838-dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt
- Ewing, E. S. K., Diamond, G., & Levy, S. (2015). Attachment-based family therapy for depressed and suicidal adolescents: theory, clinical model and empirical support. Attachment & Human Development, 17(2), 136–156. https://doi.org/10.1080/14616734.2015.1006384
