Self-Sufficiency Teen Training Strategies
Independence and autonomy are important to all teens, but the skills needed for these really need to shine when a teenager is preparing to move out of the family home. Below, we cover tips that span the six areas of need for a teen. Each one targets the autonomy development teens require before living independently, ensuring they feel fully prepped for the transition.
1. Work on Communication Skills
When it comes to the life skills for independence adolescents require, communication skills are the foundation. Without the capacity to express what they need and a functional ability to understand others, a teen may find it hard to navigate the more complex nuances of independent living.[2]
You might feel like your teen’s ability to communicate is already set in stone, but there are ways you can gently help them improve this skill without coming across as overly forceful.
Help Them Ask for What They Need
Does your teen seem to be able to ask things of others, such as teachers, family members, or friends? You could help them make requests through role-playing scenarios, sending emails, or speaking up in appointments. Encourage them to express what they want calmly and clearly.
Promote Strong Listening Skills
Teenagers are often encouraged to listen without speaking when in formal environments, like class or assembly. This is often because the adults in these scenarios want to make sure that teenagers are absorbing necessary information.
But real-life listening often requires active listening. This means that your child should feel comfortable asking questions when they don’t fully understand a conversation. You can help your teen develop active listening skills by encouraging them to politely ask you questions during conversations with them. And, in return, give your child your full attention when talking to them – asking questions when you would like further clarity on what they’re discussing.
This way, you’re modeling healthy communication skills that they can internalize and bring with them when independently living.
Encourage Them to Initiate Conversations
How capable is your child at striking up conversations? Do conversation starters come easily to them, or do they seem to flounder when the time comes to talk?
Leaving home for the first time, entering into an unknown environment, can feel incredibly daunting for a teen. They might not know anyone and feel intimidated about making new connections. Striking up conversations is the igniting spark behind all potential friendships and relationships.
You can build up your child’s confidence in this area by demonstrating how to strike up conversations with them (and others in their presence). Then, ask follow-up questions, such as “Wow, that sounds hard. How did you find it?” Remember to keep follow-up questions open-ended, as this allows the conversation to continue to flow. At the start, the practice might feel a little stiff, but, in time, it tends to become more natural and free-flowing.
2. Develop Their Executive Functioning Skills
Self-sufficiency teens training wouldn’t be complete without touching on executive functioning. Executive functioning skills are our abilities to self-regulate and manage tasks like planning, organizing, and learning from mistakes.[3]
But some of us tend to have more difficulties with these skills than others, such as those of us with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Plus, executive functions tend to develop with time and practice. So, even if they don’t seem to come naturally to your child, they can still be built upon.
Prioritize Tasks
If your teen is feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of leaving home, encourage them to create a list. What tasks are most important, and why? They could choose to place these at the top of their list, creating a hierarchy of the most pressing ones to complete first.
Alternatively, they could place simpler tasks at the top, ticking them off as completed to build their confidence in handling more difficult ones.
Follow a Calendar
Promoting the use of a calendar in the here and now to track important events could encourage a teen to use it when living independently. For instance, you could note down:
- Bill deadlines.
- Important appointments.
- Classes.
Keep the calendar in a visible, shared space, like the kitchen.
Find Solutions to Problems
Not everything will go smoothly when your child lives independently. Problems will arise, so figuring out solutions is an important skill. You can practice problem-solving in the here and now by asking them to come up with multiple solutions to an issue, writing them down if necessary.
Then, together, you can go through the pros and cons of each before settling on one. And if this solution doesn’t work out, encourage them to try another until the issue is resolved.
3. Promote Meeting Their Primary Needs
When preparing teens to live alone, the skill you might be most concerned about is likely their ability to meet their primary needs. These include needs around safety, health, and shelter (keeping a roof over their heads).[4]
You could help your child develop independent living skills in these areas by encouraging them to:
Eat a Balanced Diet
Healthy eating plans should include a balance of vitamins, minerals, fibres, lean proteins, complex carbohydrates, and healthy fats.[5] You can start this process at home by discussing the foods you choose for the family meal plan – and why. Also, tell them why you limit foods high in saturated fats, sodium, and added sugar.
Exercise Regularly
Physical activity doesn’t have to be overly strenuous to be healthy. You could encourage your teen to move their body daily through 20-30 minute walks, stretches, and bike rides. If it’s something they enjoy doing, they’re more likely to incorporate it into their routine when living independently.
Create a Safety Plan
Safety plans can involve writing out the actions to take during an emergency, such as what to do in the face of a threat or if there’s a fire. For example, is there an evacuation route or someone they can call?
But these plans don’t just involve what to do in case of a physical or mental emergency – although this does matter. They can also include what to do if they’re stuck with bills, like:
A teen should know the steps to take in case of all possible eventualities.
In addition to these points, you could also discuss weekly chore lists, safe medication guidelines, and online safety tips to help ensure your child is prepared for taking care of their primary needs.
4. Consider Secondary Needs
While primary needs are essential for physical and emotional well-being, secondary needs also play an important role in independent living. Primary needs are associated with survival, but secondary needs play an important role in psychological well-being. And when it comes to independent living, they often revolve around long-term goals, including those involving education, employment, and large purchases.
Helping Them Structure Their Goals
Long-term goals can often seem like insurmountable challenges to a teenager. You can help them break these goals down into achievable targets by making them SMART. This acronym stands for: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-specific. Breaking any large goal down into this format can help make the process much more straightforward.[6]
Supporting Them in Managing Finances
The home environment can protect teenagers from the realities of budgeting for a large purchase, such as a car or home deposit. You could help boost their financial literacy by going over core financial concepts with them, such as budgeting, debt, interest, mortgages, and pensions. It may also help to explain how the mathematical concepts they learned in school could be applied to real-world situations.
Preparing Them for Interview Scenarios
Regardless of whether your child is entering further education or wants to go straight into the professional environment, interview skills are an important competency. You could help them prepare for such scenarios by holding mock interviews with them, noticing their ability to answer questions about their skill set and whether they have a general understanding of workplace norms.
5. Help Facilitate Their Advanced Needs
“Advanced needs” may sound like a luxury that your teenager doesn’t have to focus on as much as primary or secondary needs when living independently. But advanced needs are often what help us feel more like ourselves – and they even protect us from mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression. Hobbies, leisure, and time spent with friends can lower stress levels and improve life satisfaction.[7]
Ensuring They Have Hobbies and Activities They Enjoy
These activities should be things they do outside of education and work. You could encourage them to try new things while they’re still living at home, or to continue pursuing previously enjoyed hobbies once they’ve moved out. For example, you could help them find a local activity group in the area they’re moving to.
Promoting Stress-Management Techniques
These techniques might include things such as mindfulness and meditation to turn to during times of overwhelm. For example, before they move out, you could practice breathing exercises with them, such as box-breathing, or go for mindful walks.
6. Help Them Understand Their Advanced Plus Needs
Each of the skills and needs discussed so far in this blog could be considered essential life skills for living independently. They’re real-world skills teens need – and the groundwork for them can easily be prepared in the family home environment.
But it’s also a good idea to consider how well your child understands the legal system, including things like laws around consent, safety, theft, and the workplace.
While you may assume your child has a grasp of these concepts, it’s better to be safe than sorry – a refresher on the basics can’t hurt. Doing so can tend to their advanced plus needs, ensuring their long-term well-being and life satisfaction.
