Supporting Siblings During Placement
When your teenager enters residential mental health treatment, the focus naturally gravitates to their well-being. It’s easy to forget that your other children in the house have been watching everything unfold and that they might be confused, scared, angry, and carrying much more than you might have noticed.
Helping siblings when a teen goes to treatment can be easy to overlook when everything feels chaotic, especially because there’s only so much a parent can balance at one time. But it’s important to remember that everyone in your home deserves to feel cared about. To help you achieve this balance, this page aims to give you the ins and outs of…
- How a residential placement can affect your other children
- How to explain treatment to children of different ages in an honest and reassuring way
- The most common emotional responses siblings have, including the ones that might be hard to talk about
- Practical coping strategies during the placement period
- The benefits of family therapy for the whole house
- How to strengthen sibling relationships when treatment ends
The Impact of Residential Placement on Siblings
When a teenager leaves home for treatment, the whole family tends to reorganize around their absence, consciously or not.[1] Siblings more than likely feel their absence, even the ones who may seem fine or don’t say much about it.
The impacts of teen mental health on siblings almost always begin before their inpatient placement. Many of them have spent months living alongside a brother or sister who is finding it hard to cope. They may have potentially witnessed frightening episodes or quietly adjusted their behavior in response. Plus, many siblings have been silently absorbing growing tensions in the family home, both from the situation and even from their parents. So, by the time the placement happens, some might be relieved, while others may be scared.
Sibling anxiety can be easy to ignore in the face of a crisis. Younger children might not have the language to express what they feel, and older ones might decide their own needs just aren’t as important at the moment.
Guilt can be another throughline within a family’s experiences. Siblings (and parents, for that matter) might have wished that their brother or sister would just disappear for a while. Therefore, they might be incredibly uncomfortable with the reality of an inpatient stay making their thoughts come true.
In addition to the emotional weight, daily life changes have likely orbited the home for months on end. Parents are stretched thinner, routines have drastically shifted, and conversations have become heavier and more difficult.
Family dynamics during teen residential treatment can change in ways that affect everyone, including other children who might otherwise seem to be coping well. A child who goes quiet and stops asking for things isn’t necessarily fine, but sometimes they’ve internalized that this doesn’t seem to be the moment to express themselves.
Talking Things Through With Your Family
There’s no template or script for having a conversation with your other children about residential treatment, but the worst thing a parent can do is to say nothing. Children tend to fill the silence with their own explanations, most of which can be scarier than the truth.
Below, we discuss age-appropriate ways of talking to your family about one of your children’s treatment.
Young Children (Ages 3-7)
Kids this young don’t need much in the way of clinical details – they just need to know their sibling is safe and that their family is still intact.
Using simple and concrete language tends to work best with children this age.[2] Let them know their sibling needs help with their feelings, and that the people helping are good at doing that. Leave room for questions, as they’re sure to happen and likely to keep coming.
Older Children (Ages 8-12)
Kids in this age group often see much more than their parents expect them to. They usually notice that something was already wrong at home, and they might have been quietly forming their own theories.
Explaining residential treatment to siblings in this range means being a little more direct. You don’t need to share everything, but naming the situation is likely to be more reassuring than vague language that leaves gaps and unanswered questions to be filled with assumptions.
Teenagers
A teenage sibling can handle much more honesty. In fact, trying to safeguard them from the details can backfire – they probably already know more than you think, and finding out they were kept in the dark can be a cause for resentment.
Engage your other teenagers in a real conversation about the circumstances. Explain what’s going on and what residential treatment involves, and invite them to ask any questions they might have. Feeling included in what’s happening can make it easier to process things as the rate of healing goes on.
Common Emotional Responses to Treatment
Siblings respond to a brother or sister’s placement in ways that can surprise everyone, including themselves. Worrying is extremely common and visible, but resentment can also be frequently seen and far less likely to be named out loud. Having watched their family member try to cope for months or even years might prompt feelings much closer to anger than sadness when placement finally happens.
Relief is another common response that families sometimes avoid talking about. A home that feels tense and unpredictable can suddenly become quiet, and feeling any relief or enjoyment as a result can be difficult to navigate for children and adults alike. It pays to remember that a young person might not have any outlet or language to talk about how that might feel.
Supporting your other children during a mental health crisis means making space for anything anyone feels, not just the socially acceptable emotions. Stuffing down feelings never helps anyone. So starting the treatment process is also an opportunity to make space for everyone in your family to express themselves and find comfort in mutual support.
Find Mental Health Treatment Programs
Mission Prep provides treatment for teens experiencing various mental health conditions. Mental Health support is a phone call away – call 866-901-4047 to learn about your treatment options.
See our residences in Southern California’s Los Angeles & San Diego areas.
View our facilities in Loudoun County, VA within the DC metro area.
Helping Your Other Children Cope During Placement
Ultimately, your other children need more than reassurance when their sibling goes away to treatment – they need things to actually do with what they’re feeling.
Try to keep their normal routines intact. School schedules, time with friends, and weekend activities are anchors that can tether them to the present when so much else has shifted in the family home.[3]
Providing a journal or access to another trusted adult they enjoy can be an outlet to express themselves. Having permission to talk about their own life without it always coming back to their sibling’s mental health and treatment is normalizing and important for self-expression.
Having accurate information and a way to ask questions is also key. Uncertainty feeds anxiety, and a sibling who knows they can come to you with whatever they’re thinking and feeling will be better equipped to handle the challenges as they arise.
Although it may be difficult with so much going on, aim to keep your eyes open for warning signs that another of your children is finding it hard to cope. Withdrawal, a drop in school performance, and changes in sleep and appetite may be calling out for attention.
The Benefits of Family Therapy
Each family member has their own experience of residential treatment, and the dynamics that existed before placement continue evolving when your child enters into care. Family therapy during teen residential care can create a space for everyone to look at things honestly and work together toward accounting for everyone’s experiences and goals.
Quality treatment centers like Mission Prep provide family therapy as a core offering during inpatient treatment. This is because we recognize that a young person’s outcomes improve drastically when the family is actively involved in the treatment process.
Family support can help you and your loved ones with:
- Giving siblings a voice and a dedicated space to share their experiences and feelings
- Rebuilding communication patterns that developed over time, such as shutting down and avoidance
- Addressing resentments in the open before they harden and harm the family’s communication patterns
- Preparing for the eventual return home, making it smoother when the entire family is part of the process
- Helping you as a parent show up for everyone and better understanding their unique needs
- Strengthening family support and making sure that everyone feels seen
Reintegrating When Treatment Ends
Returning to the family home can bring about a fresh wave of complex feelings for your other children. Things can feel tentative and uncertain, and recalibration takes time (and might not always go smoothly at first).
Don’t rush anything – try to keep communication open in all directions. A sibling who’s concerned about how things have been going deserves to be heard, and settling into a new normal can take much longer than most families expect.
If tension surfaces, this can be a sign that the family is still in process, which is very normal. Continued family therapy alongside supportive aftercare for your child in need can help you all better navigate the path ahead in a caring, supportive way.
Mission Prep Supports the Whole Family
Mission Prep doesn’t provide treatment to just teenagers. We provide support and care to the entire family unit, working hand-in-hand to figure out exactly what’s needed. If you’re wondering how to best hold everyone together while your child gets help, reach out and let us share how we can help.
Frequently Asked Questions About Supporting Siblings During Inpatient Treatment
If one of your children is entering treatment and you’re wondering how this might be affecting their siblings, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed and concerned. To help, we’ve provided the following answers to commonly asked questions about siblings that we receive at Mission Prep.
Should My Other Children Visit During Residential Treatment?
It depends on the child in treatment, where they are in their journey, and the clinical team’s guidance. Visits can certainly be meaningful, but the timing matters.
Your teenager’s treatment team can help you work it all out during their stay to maximize the impact and make sure everyone feels heard and accounted for.
When Should I Worry About My Other Kids?
It’s always worthwhile to stay curious. Some siblings generally cope well, but others might go quiet because they’re uncertain of their feelings or don’t feel like a priority. Check in regularly and always keep the door to conversation open to make sure they have a way to express themselves.
What Should I Do When I Find It Hard to Cope as a Parent?
Letting your other children see that you’re finding things hard too, while still showing up to the best of your ability, can be a wonderful way to model for your kids. Lean on your support network and take your own therapy (individual and family) seriously, and remember that family support was never designed to only rest on your shoulders.
