Teen Indecisiveness: Causes and How to Support Decision-Making Skills
As a parent, if your teen avoids making decisions, you might understandably feel a little frustrated from time to time. Yet, due to the stage of development they’re at, teens often struggle to make certain choices.
However, teen indecisiveness is more than occasional uncertainty. Instead, it may be a sign that your child feels overwhelmed by the pressure to make the “right” choice.
Adolescence is a time of big changes that can affect your teen in many ways – including the choices they make. Decision-making skills are part of everyday life and aren’t something we are born knowing. These skills need to be taught.
By learning how to support your teen in making decisions, you can help build independence and give them the essential life skills and confidence they need moving forward. This article can help you in this process by explaining:
- What teen indecisiveness is
- Causes of indecision in teens
- How parents can support their teens with decision-making
- Coping strategies for indecisive teens
- The role of therapy
- Finding professional support for teens
Understanding Teen Indecisiveness
We make decisions every day: what to have for breakfast, which TV show to watch, and when we’ll next meet our friend for a catch-up. Some decisions are bigger than others, though, such as what college to go to or where to live. When they can have an impact on our lives, decisions can feel tough to make.
“Indecisiveness” describes a difficulty in making decisions. For instance, you may take a long time to choose between two options, be scared of making the “wrong” decision, or wait for others to make the decision instead.
You may have heard of something called “analysis paralysis,” also known as “AP.” This is when someone experiences a very intense emotional reaction when it comes to making a decision. Whether it’s deciding your next move in a board game or which laptop to buy, it can make you feel paralysed with fear about making the wrong decision.
For instance, you may spend hours researching information, trying to weigh up every possible outcome. Ultimately, you just end up feeling overwhelmed, and the decision-making process stops in its tracks.
When Does Indecisiveness Become a Problem?
It’s common to feel indecisive sometimes, especially if you face a big, life-changing decision. However, most people manage to eventually make choices in everyday scenarios and move forward with life. However, excessive indecisiveness can become a problem.
Chronic indecision is more than just occasional difficulty making decisions; it can become a habit. People who struggle with this may look like perfectionists or procrastinators from the outside. For instance, they may be late for school or appointments because they can’t decide on what to wear, or find it difficult to start homework assignments for fear of doing it wrong.1
Additionally, chronic indecision can become a long-term problem, causing distress or impacting the ability to carry out daily activities.
Why Are Decision-Making Skills Important?
Being able to make decisions effectively is often a skill that needs to be learned. This skill can help people better manage their time, be more productive, develop essential problem-solving skills, and improve their self-confidence.
In contrast, the inability to make decisions may cause problems for teens that continue into their adult lives. Although indecisiveness in teens isn’t a mental health condition, chronic indecision can cause anxiety and stress, potentially leading to problems functioning daily, relationship difficulties, and lower well-being.2
There are several factors that can affect adolescent decision-making difficulties, which are explored in the next section.
Causes of Indecision in Teens
Making decisions can be challenging for everyone. Yet, sometimes, teens may struggle more with making choices than adults think they should. There are several factors that can contribute to teen indecisiveness, which are covered in the sections below.
Teen Development
Although teenagers can seem to grow up so fast, the adolescent brain is still developing. One area in particular that is not fully mature until adulthood is the prefrontal cortex – the part responsible for emotional regulation, reasoning, and decision-making. So, it makes sense that teens may struggle with decision-making while their brains are still developing the areas that allow this process to happen more effectively.3,4
Learned Indecision
Decision-making skills can be learned through and influenced by childhood experiences. In fact, research suggests that children who have had emotionally warm and understanding parents can make better decisions. In contrast, children with parents who are overprotective, do not allow them to make decisions, are critical, or leave no room for mistakes, find decision-making difficult.5 Their experiences so far in life may have taught them that it’s scary to make mistakes or make the wrong decision.6 Indecisiveness may therefore be a way of avoiding judgment from their parents or being seen as a “failure.”
Stress-Related Indecision
The stress response affects us not only physically but also mentally. For instance, stress affects areas of the brain responsible for recalling memory and learning, both of which are vital for making decisions.7 And, as adolescence can be filled with new stresses, such as academic performance or social pressures, teens may find it more challenging to make decisions.
Life Experience
Parents have often gathered a wealth of experiences through life. They’ve made decisions that may have turned out to be good or bad, right or wrong, and have learned from them. However, teens don’t have as many experiences to draw from when making their own choices. They are still in the process of growing and learning, which is why decision-making can sometimes feel so difficult.
Mental Health and Decision-Making
In some cases, chronic indecision or difficulties in making decisions can be signs of underlying mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, or unresolved childhood trauma. Additionally, the decision-making process can be more challenging in neurodiverse people, such as those with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), due to differences involving the executive function.8,9
As may be clear, several elements can factor into teen indecisiveness, and understanding these causes can help you support your teen to develop the decision-making skills they need in life. The next section shall explore ways parents can support their teens to strengthen critical thinking skills.
The Parental Role in Promoting Critical Thinking in Teens
Decision-making is an essential life skill. It encourages people to take responsibility for their actions and accept the consequences of their decisions. Plus, it’s important for becoming more independent – something vital for teen development.
However, people aren’t born with this skill. It is learned and developed through experiences. Those with teen indecisiveness may feel unsure about making decisions, worry about getting it “wrong,” or become stuck in analysis paralysis. So how can parents support their children with decision-making?
Parental Support for Decision-Making
As a parent, you can help your teen learn how to make decisions and support them in the process. Some suggestions for parents wanting to support their teen include:
- Validating their feelings: Acknowledge that it can sometimes be scary to make decisions, especially big ones.
- Creating space for mistakes: Teens sometimes worry about making mistakes or being seen as a failure, but mistakes are part of how we learn. You could share this fact with them, for example, by letting them know how you have learned from a mistake or from failing at something. Or, you may want to reassure them that regardless of the decisions they make, you are still their parent and will always love them.
- Encouraging small decisions: Making decisions about things with small consequences can help build confidence for making bigger decisions. For instance, you could encourage them to choose what to eat for breakfast or what film to watch as a family.
- Modeling decision-making: As a parent, you can be a role model for your child in many ways, including making decisions. For example, you could talk through your own decision-making process with your teen, so they can learn what to take into account.
- Avoiding making decisions for them: Although it may feel easier to make decisions for your teen, letting them get to grips with the decision-making process is great for building confidence in teens. This doesn’t mean you can’t help them, though. If your child is struggling to make a choice, you could ask them relevant questions to see if they help make the choice clearer.
Learning decision-making skills is vital for supporting independence in teens. Making choices can be tough, and sometimes a little guidance is needed. The next section focuses on practical strategies teens can use to help them tackle indecisiveness.
Coping Strategies for Indecisiveness for Teens
As a teenager, it’s not always easy to know how to make the right decision. From the smaller choices, such as what cereal to have, through to bigger decisions like college applications, having strategies can help decision-making become easier.
Some suggestions for tackling the challenges of teen indecisiveness include:
- Creating pros and cons lists: Sometimes, seeing the positives and negatives laid out in black and white on a page can help you to make a decision.
- Grounding techniques: If you feel overwhelmed when faced with a choice, grounding techniques like breathing exercises can reduce anxiety and help you feel more relaxed.
- Breaking it down: If the decision feels too big, see if there is a way to break it down into smaller, more manageable steps.
- Visualizing the outcomes: When making a decision, it may be helpful to imagine the potential outcomes for each option.
- Flipping a coin: Sometimes, you can discover your gut reaction to a decision by flipping a coin. If it lands on heads and you feel disappointed, this may be a useful indication that you prefer the other outcome instead.
- Allowing for mistakes: Remember that it’s OK to make mistakes – they’re how we learn.
It’s important to remember that we are all unique, so what works for one person may not work for another. This is why it’s helpful to experiment with different techniques and strategies to find the ones that work best for you.
If coping strategies don’t seem to provide enough relief when it comes to everyday indecisiveness, please don’t worry – professional support, such as therapy, can help. Early intervention for indecisive adolescents can help them feel more at ease with making choices.
Therapy for Indecisive Teens
Cognitive behavioral therapy for teens (CBT) is a structured and focused therapeutic approach that can help someone to change unhelpful beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors. CBT can encourage teens to examine their thought processes, beliefs, and values to enable them to have a more balanced perspective when it comes to decision-making.10 It can also address overthinking, fear of failure, perfectionism, and procrastination – all of which can impact the ability to make choices.
By examining their thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and actions, CBT can help break the cycle of indecision in teens, allowing them to make decisions with more confidence and clarity.
Building Essential Life-Skills With Mission Prep
It can be heart-wrenching and frustrating to witness your child struggle to make the smallest of decisions every day. If indecision is affecting your teen’s ability to live their life, or causing them distress, know that they don’t have to continue feeling like this – help is available.
At Mission Prep, we specialize in supporting teens struggling with mental health and well-being challenges. Offering a range of evidence-based therapies, we work with adolescents and their families to help them reach their goals and prepare them to face future challenges that come their way.
If you’re ready to take the next step in supporting your teen, contact us today. Our team can discuss how we can support your teen in building their confidence and making positive decisions for their future.
References
- Seif, M. & Winston, S. (2021, May 9). Chronic Indecisiveness: Between a Rock and a Hard Place. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/living-sticky-mind/202105/chronic-indecisiveness-between-rock-and-hard-place
- Cleveland Clinic. (2023, June 28). 6 ways to push through analysis paralysis. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/analysis-paralysis
- American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP). (2017, September). Teen brain: behavior, problem solving, and decision making. https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/The-Teen-Brain-Behavior-Problem-Solving-and-Decision-Making-095.aspx
- Hartley, C. A., & Somerville, L. H. (2015). The neuroscience of adolescent decision-making. Current opinion in behavioral sciences, 5, 108–115. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cobeha.2015.09.004
- Tian, X., Huang, B., Li, H., Xie, S., Afzal, K., Si, J., & Hu, D. (2021). How Parenting Styles Link Career Decision-Making Difficulties in Chinese College Students? The Mediating Effects of Core Self-Evaluation and Career Calling. Frontiers in psychology, 12, 661600. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.661600
- The Healthline Editorial Team. (2017, September 29). How to overcome indecisiveness. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/5-steps-overcoming-indecision
- Luis Felipe Sarmiento, Pamela Lopes da Cunha, Sonia Tabares, Gustavo Tafet, Amauri Gouveia Jr. (2024). Decision-making under stress: A psychological and neurobiological integrative model. Brain, Behavior, & Immunity – Health, 38, 100766. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bbih.2024.100766.
- Vogel, K. (2022, May 20). Why am I so indecisive? 10 methods that can help you make decisions. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/health/coping-with-indecision
- Sonuga-Barke, E. J., Cortese, S., Fairchild, G., & Stringaris, A. (2016). Annual Research Review: Transdiagnostic neuroscience of child and adolescent mental disorders–differentiating decision making in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, conduct disorder, depression, and anxiety. Journal of child psychology and psychiatry, and allied disciplines, 57(3), 321–349. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.12496
- Fleming, S. (2023, October 2). Should I do this or should I do that?: CBT for indecision. Beck Institute. https://beckinstitute.org/blog/should-i-do-this-or-should-i-do-that-cbt-for-indecision/
